Scientists have decided that Eastenders hard men The Mitchell Brothers are going to create an entire nation of violent psychopaths.
The Mitchell Brothers – played by gurning shaven hobbits Ross Kemp and Steve McFadden – are apparently among a group of television ‘role models’ who could all too easily influence the stupid children of today to grow up all twisted out of shape.
Just think. Little Johnny may be reading Harry Potter and collecting butterflies right now, but a couple of telly excursions into Albert Square and he’ll be driving into canals and growling sweaty threats at ladies in no time.
Dr. Sally Henry from Brunel University explained her Eastenders findings:
"My research shows that it’s pretty much a case of ‘like father, like son’ – kids learn how to deal with difficult situations from adult role models like their parents. But, in the absence of parental guidance, kids will look to other role models – for example, male characters in soap operas. With around 35 million people a week viewing soap operas like EastEnders, Emmerdale, Coronation Street and Hollyoaks, this is a real problem."
Hmm. To be quite frank, it isn’t people imitating Eastenders characters that hecklerspray is worried about. It’s the very thought of deluded youngsters modelling their lives on the bland-as-bread hairwaxed Hollyoaks posse that truly sends a shiver down the spine.
Almost as terrifying, in fact, as the thought that countless millions of people doubtless watched David Attenborough’s Life In The Undergrowth last night – which means that they’re instantly all going to emulate their new-found slug heroes, i.e. dangling from trees on strings of mucus while entangling oddly-located penises with each other.
Or something.
Read More:
Bullies May Get Role Models From TV – Yahoo!
[story by C J Davies]