This is it, this is finally it – this is the week that the 2007 Eurovision Song Contest takes place. If you haven't placed any Eurovision bets yet, you're running out of time before the odds start to become considerably less incredible.
As expected, this is the busiest week in the Eurovision calendar. In a few days the Eurovision Song Contest semi-final will take place – always a sad day since it usually means saying goodbye to some of the more hilariously bad entries while the duller power-ballads somehow stay in. And then on Saturday night it's the Eurovision Song Contest, and we're so excited about it that we literally can't breath at the moment. Well, it's either Eurovision excitement or something to do with that wasp we just swallowed.
Don't forget to come back here for the hecklerspray Eurovision liveblog on Saturday night, either. It'll be marginally more fun than watching Eurovision alone.
Here are the Eurovision betting odds for Romania, Russia and Serbia, with help from Paddy Power…
Romania (pop. 22,355,551: a country in southeastern Europe) Todomondo, Liubi, Liubi, I Love You
There's obviously been some thought that's gone into Liubi Liubi, I Love You by Todomondo. They've obviously realised that Europe is full of many different languages, and so they've created Liubi Liubi, I Love You – a song performed in English, Spanish, French, Italian, Russian and Romanian. It's a nice idea, but instead of catering for everyone, Todomondo have come up with a song that nobody will fully understand. And to make matters worse, members of Todomondo perform Liubi Liubi, I Love You in each country's national dress. The Romanian wears a waistcoat, the Frenchman looks a bit dirty and wears a beret, the Italian wears a silk scarf, the Spaniard wears a bullfighter's costume, the Russian looks like Benny Hill and – brilliantly – the Englishman wears a dinner jacket and top hat. And smokes a pipe. So that's all of Europe both confused and offended. Nice work Todomondo, even if we do approve of your little group knees-up at the end. Current Eurovision betting odds – 16/1
Russia (pop. 144,526,378: the largest country in the world) Serebro, Song Number 1
What do we have here? A little bit of Derrin Brown-style mind manipulation? By calling their Eurovision entry Song Number 1, are Serebro trying to subliminally get everyone to make them win? They might not need to, because Song Number 1 is an unusually polished exercise in dirty sass by three pretty young girls who seem to only talk about sex. It's also an exercise in 'wait, did I just hear that right?' so let's clear some things up. Song Number 1 by Serebro contains the line "Can't you see the way I move my dress" and not "Can't you see the way I move my chest" like we thought. However, Song Number 1 by Serebro does in fact contain the lines "I've got my bitches standing up next to me," "Taste my cherry pie" and "Feel my vibration." Dirtiness aside, we think Song Number 1 by Serebro has a real shot of winning Eurovision this year, and we're not just saying that because we think Vladimir Putin is going to come round and put depleted uranium in our sushi if we slag it off. Current Eurovision betting odds – 12/1
Serbia (pop. 10,147,398; a landlocked country in central and southeasten Europe) Marija Serifovic, Molitva
You can forget your clever little gimmicks about heavy metal monsters or dancing frocks or pretty girls, because Serbia's Eurovision entry doesn't need any of that crap. Serbia's entry Marija Serifovic looks like a vaguely conservative mid-level accountant on a day out to a lovely garden centre. But it doesn't matter if Marija Serifovic looks, dresses and performs like an accountant, because Eurovision is all about the song, right? Right? And Marija's song Molitva is the kind of super-dramatic power ballad – complete with fake Irish interlude and vaguely religious lyrics – that is undoubtedly rubbish but unexplainably popular with the sort of people who vote for these things. We're expecting Molitva to finish somewhere in the top five this year at least, if only because Marija Serifovic's 'fat woman in glasses standing still' shtick is a refreshing change from the deranged likes of Time To Party by The Jet Set, even if her song is a big bag of cocks. Current Eurovision betting odds – 10/1
Tomorrow – Slovenia, Spain and Sweden. But if that's too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Eurovision betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.
Adrian says
Hi
I am betting on Romania to do well.
Roy Le Pre says
That’s a cheeky thing to do.
Okay, okay, Camembert par excellence, n’est-ce pas?