Between the groups of twerking primary school kids and glorified shadow puppeteers, the Britain’s Got Talent final was one giant snoozefest. Thank God somebody stepped in to break the monotony by chucking dairy products at Simon Cowell’s face.
An otherwise completely forgettable operatic duet by Richard and Adam – catchy name – was interrupted half way through by a girl running on stage armed with a box of eggs and the most menacing smile since Jack Nicholson discovered that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Nobody was hurt in the incident, with the possible exception of Simon’s security team who were no doubt taking an underwater tour of the Thames in their favourite concrete shoes by the end of the night.
The organic assailant was later identified as Natalie Holt, a violinist and composer who auditioned for the show last year but didn’t make it to the live shows. That’s got to sting, years of dedication and hard work passed over for a dog that dances around in a tutu. When asked for the reasons behind her eggy attack on Cowell, Natalie replied “Because he’s Simon Cowell.”
Well, not really, but that’s probably what she was thinking. The reason she actually gave to the Daily Mail was:
“I took a stand against people miming on television and against Simon Cowell and against his influence on the music industry.”
I totally got her indignation at Cowell’s monopoly on the British music industry from the way she threw food at him. She should join forces with PETA, they seem to enjoy throwing various produce at people in a way that has nothing to do with what they are protesting against.
She was hired as a backing musician for the dull-as-dishwater singing brothers, and was reportedly asked to only pretend to play the violin onstage – her outrage at this seems odd, surely it’s everyone’s dream to get paid for only pretending to work?
A BGT spokesman said that miming was:
“…standard industry practice for backing musicians during TV performances as it isn't possible to easily capture the quality of the sound in a live broadcast environment.”
In other words, they like to make sure the musicians don’t screw it up for the contestants by hitting a bum note. I’m guessing for next year, they will be treated to a thorough cavity search before even being allowed into the building.
Pete says
Since when have eggs been a dairy product?