When we were in sixth grade we got to school one day, and three periods in when it was our turn to give the in-depth presentation that we’d worked on for over a week – it wasn’t in our bag.
We turned our desk inside-out that day – but to no avail. We were crying at the window as our teacher wrote a big red F next to our name in his spiral grade-book, that’s when we saw it – Ed McMahon sprinting across the playground with our missing assignment in hand. He was more dragging it, actually. After all the thing was over 20 feet long.
We’d invented the Publisher’s Clearing House giant check printer. We would have gladly shared it with the world for free – but McMahon wouldn’t allow it. He patented the blue prints and made millions.
It doesn’t matter now though because it wasn’t enough – his house is going into foreclosure. That’s karma, Ed. You are just like China.
Perhaps some day soon Ed McMahon will go to his mailbox and find a letter from PETA, wherein it’s stated they’ll save his house if he’ll but throw away all his leather pajamas. Apparently PETA’s never worn leather pajamas – if they had they’d know such an offer was futile. Animal skin PJs are just so comfortable – especially when they’re fresh.
They tried something similar with Aretha Franklin, although we’re not sure if she took the bait. PETA offer or no, Ed McMahon is about to lose his house. Reuters will fill you in with the essentials:
“Ed McMahon, the longtime sidekick to U.S. talk show host Johnny Carson, is fighting to save his multimillion dollar Beverly Hills home from foreclosure, McMahon’s spokesman said on Wednesday…According to public records, McMahon was then about $644,000 in arrears on the mortgage for the six-bedroom, five-bathroom home in an exclusive area of Beverly Hills. The house has been on the market for about two years and the current asking price is $5.75 million.”
Further intense investigation on our part has revealed conclusively that McMahon’s current money-crunch started when he broke his neck and couldn’t work. We’d like to say we can relate, but our necks are all in perfect condition. Also we can’t relate because our mom has a really good job and can afford her home that we currently live in with three foreign exchange students and a fat pregnant bullmastiff.