Welcome back to Eastenders spoilers. we're sorry we've been away.? But you know how it is, you go away for five minutes and all hell breaks loose, as evidenced by the furore surrounding recent Easties storylines.
Shocking? outrageous? disgusting? all words that have been used to describe both Pat?s living room and Scott Maslen?s acting abilities.
But, all joking aside, it has been one of the more controversial chapters in Eastenders? history. But isn't that what Eastenders should be doing? Putting irregular cats among the fanciful pigeons? Arguably yes, but maybe this was a bridge too far.
Either way, our job is not to worry about these deep moral quandaries, ours is just to tell you what's coming up while gently mocking it.
And so?
This week on the square (if you don't like it, don't write in to us, just write your MP. Or maybe start an angry mob. Or just turn off your TV) is all about the Carol/Connor/Whitney love triangle. The dirty beggar?s doing his own Albert Square version of hotter than my daughter and it's as tawdry as hell. But then again, if it's good enough for Alan Clark MP, it's good enough for anyone. Little Tiffany, arguably Eastenders? best actress since Stacey left, is at the centre of things, and she knows too much. Can she keep her guilty secrets?
Meanwhile, back at THAT story, Ronnie anxiously asks if she can attend the baby?s funeral, Alfie agrees. But Kat?s on the warpath and it might not be such a good idea. Will she turn up? Elsewhere, Phil grows a straggly, wiry beard and is conflicted between being the world's worst dad and having the world's ugliest girlfriend and hottest mistress (probably).
It’s the day of the funeral and it’s clear that Kat is struggling to cope. Ronnie is too, she's locked herself in the bedroom. Sounds like these two might be suffering in tandem, for very different reasons. Doesn't sound like the funeral scene will be much fun, unsurprisingly. Might even be quite distressing. Who knew?
Later, Ronnie takes her fake baby and heads over to The Vic, despite some protestations from Jack. She enters the pub – but what will she do next?
In the aftermath of the funeral, Kat continues to hide away from the world and shuts herself up in her room. Charlie heads up with a cup of tea for his daughter, and he has a heart to heart.
Now,?we’re ?going to go out on a limb here and make a bold prediction. We reckon Charlie might start talking in that whiny girly cockney voice he does, before bursting into tears. He's the Peter Andre of Albert Square; anything sets him off. And indeed, he is going to be off ? this time for good.
Meanwhile, a number of young women arrive at the Argee Bhargee as interviews are taking place for the waitress job, and Zainab and Masood naturally embarrass Tamwar some more.
Jack is late home from the club, so Ronnie is left looking after ‘James’ alone in the middle of the night (careful, everyone). As the baby is not settling, Ronnie makes a phone call to MILFY mother Glenda, who reluctantly agrees to come over and help. But then it sounds like they all just start talking about Jack and Max?s boring car business, and world's worst nightclub R and R, so don't get too excited.
Next week?s Easties sounds like much more fun, when BIANCA HAS SERIOUS SUSPICIONS, CAROL TELLS HER THE TRUTH, KAT QUESTIONS HER MARRIAGE, and BIANCA MAKES A DEVASTATING DISCOVERY.
WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?
Not sure.
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS!
Claire Inamerica says
Random opinions:
Little Tiffany IS the best actress on EE at the moment.
Glenda’s situation is quite depressing for women over 50. If a gorgeous bird like that has such incredibly low self esteem and man problems — what about the rest of us???
No matter how “tricky” everything has become for Ronnie, there is NO WAY she would continue this horrible charade, under any circumstances. While EE execs say they “did research” on cot death, did they find even ONE instance where a grieving mum snatched a baby? Snatched a baby minutes after finding her own baby had died? Hours? Days after? Weeks? Months? Years?
But the show is certainly getting a lot of attention.
I miss Stacey.
Ricky is not as bad an actor as many others on the show.
I should be doing work, but this is a great way to waste time.
louise says
bring bk dannielle 4 ronnie
kl g says
bring stacey bk p,leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez
Ella holder says
I hope ronnie gives the baby back to Kat as she doesnt deserve all this. You can see how Kat is coping and i feel sorry for her. But in real life I really feel sorry for Samantha (Ronnie) as she has been abused and attacked for all this, it’s not really her fault as it’s only a soap.
Connor and Carol make me sick! that’s just wrong I mean it’s her own dead sons best friend and also her grand- daughter Whitneys boyfriend ew! Carol makes it out she is better than everyone else.
I hope stacey comes back she is an amazing actress that has done an amazing job in enders.