You know when the Rock played the part of the Scorpion King in that one Mummy movie? You know how he crawled out of hell or something and sat there looking at Brendan Frasier from across the pit of the damned?
You know what he was thinking? He was probably thinking ‘His lips….they’re perfect….’ or something along those lines. We know this because a thought bubble briefly appeared on screen while we were watching at home once. Also this kind of clears up why in his wrestling days his secret move looked so much like he was trying to help an unconscious opponent breathe.
He’s in the Get Smart movie that’s gonna be unrolling on us soon, and in it he has to practically suck the lips right off of Steve Carell. You know what he said about it? He said it was ‘…fantastic.’
To make it in Hollywood you really only have to do one thing – help fill Steve Carell’s bottomless bucket of passion and hope he likes it – he’s a career maker you know. What happened to Oscar on the Office after he let Michael Scott kiss him? His bank account got bigger – he suddenly started on that new-ish Comedy Central show, remember?
All we’re saying is, make-out with Carell and maybe you can be in Horton Hears A Who 2: Horton Hears Another Who. We bet Dwayne Johnson at least has an interview for it, because he’s had to kiss the man recently. Johnson says:
“One of the skills I had to learn and become proficient in is kissing a man. I had never kissed a man. Will Smith did it in his movies, so did Jake Gyllenhaal, and I figured it was my time. So it was me and [Steve] Carell — fantastic.”
No mention of preceding romance was given, which makes us think Dwayne might have gone to easy. We’d like to ask him though, was it worth it?
Hardly, we bet. Not that there could never be a good reason to kiss a man. For instance if you were failing tenth grade math and your teacher holds you after class. He says he really likes your new Gap jeans as he slowly flips through the grade book. Then maybe he stops on a page, glances down at it for only a minute and says ‘looks like you’re gonna fail, hecklerspray. That’s a real shame, a bright website like you with a 100% guaranteed ruined future. If only there was something we could do about this.”
See, now that’s a good reason.
We sometimes still get the night-shakes though.
Read More in an MSN article entitled ‘Carell jokes about on-screen kiss with The Rock’
Rob Delaney says
Curse you! Now I have “It doesn’t matter” by Wyclef feat. The Rock on non-stop loop in my head.
Though, to be fair, it’s replaced “buy now!” by BodyCrash, so that might be a good thing.
gir says
CAN YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN,….because it’s probably a very romantic dinner for Steve Carell with some oysters and maybe some strawberries and candlelight….