It’s weird that Noel Edmonds is famous again, and even weirder when you realise he’s famous again for basically convincing idiots that they have supernatural powers over some boxes on Deal Or No Deal.
But however spectacularly strange the comeback of Noel Edmonds may be, don’t for a second think that Noel is satisfied with talking to a pretend man on a telephone and using peculiar middle-management jargon on a daytime Channel Four quiz show. Because Noel Edmonds has been announced as the host of this year’s Miss Great Britain.
There’s an argument that something as outmoded and archaic as a
beauty competition has no place in the 21st century. But there’s also
an argument that something as outmoded and archaic as Noel Edmonds (Stuff) has
no place in the 21st century, either. So for Noel to present Miss Great
Britain 2006 makes perfect sense.
Noel Edmonds has been hauled in from the TV wilderness – or, in
Noel’s case, the "No, really, I don’t care about not being on the telly
anymore" wilderness – by Deal Or No Deal, the surprise Channel Four
daytime hit gameshow. It’s an odd show – a person mostly just opens
boxes for 45 minutes while Noel Edmonds clasps his hands together and
mutters suspiciously about tactics and numerology like Mystic Meg‘s
annoying uncle – but people love it.
We get the impression that Noel won’t be happy with Deal Or No Deal
until he can gunge the contestants or play hilarious tricks on Dave Lee
Travis instead of talking to the banker, but it seems to be a success.
And now Noel can add hosting this year’s Miss Great Britain to his bow,
too. Even though the Miss Great Britain contest sounds like a really
bad joke.
Noel and grinning GMTV personality vacuum Jenni Falconer will host
Miss Great Britain 2006, where 50 girls from around the country will
preen and smile and thrust for the phenomenally qualified judging panel
of Faria Alam, Jean Christophe Novelli, Christine Hamilton, some
Celebrity Big Brother housemates and "a mystery footballer." Whoever
wins the contest will get a year of twatting about in Nuts professional modelling and a role in a Hollywood film.
Miss Great Britain takes place on February 25th. Mr Blobby is so far unconfirmed as the secret surprise guest.
Read more:
Edmonds to host Miss Great Britain – Channel 4
[story by Stuart Heritage]
mick. says
Finally, someone has finally exposed ‘deal or no deal’ for the farce that it really is.
With Noel ‘hi- guys- im- back- in- castrating- trousers’ Edmonds at the healm, probing people for their ‘strategies’ and noncing around squealing ad infinitum about ‘one of the best games we’ve ever had’, i’ve used my powers of discernment to call Noel out on his bullshit.
A) Sorry Noel, but sensationalizing what amounts to picking random numbers, with mock analysis of ‘the board’ does not wash with people with an i.q over 30.
B) Being an irritating sycophant to ‘dave’ or ‘carol’ comes across as nauseating, and only contributes to the feelings of revulsion i harbour for you.
C) Lauding one contestant as ‘the most brutally honest we’ve ever had’ for disclosing that he was there simply to win cash was utterly redundant, and another failed attempt to put ‘deal or no deal’ alongside gameshow Gods. I mean, are the others there for the sandwiches??
D) Turning up every day to present this car crash, vomit inducing muck masquerading as a television show, without the slightest trace of irony is perplexing, and well…annoying. Kindly return to television wilderness please.