Remember Dr Phil McGraw? That’s right, he’s the talk-show host with the baldy little heid and the bruiser moustache. Well, Dr Phil doesn’t have any testicles. He is ball-free. He’s the owner of a flapping, empty sack.
That’s because he cut his balls of himself.
You heard. Dr Phil, that nice man who sometimes appears on the idiot lantern in the corner of your living room, cut off his own testicles. Just like that! No sweat. Of course, he’s very keen to tell everyone about the time he decided to hack his nuts clean off his semi-famous body.
In an essay McGraw wrote for Newsweek, which we don’t expect you – the TL:DR brigade – to read, he decided with his wife that the world didn’t need more stupid children.
So a doctor friend casually offered to have McGraw come to his office for a vasectomy. So casual in fact, that Dr Phil’s doctor friend didn’t bother booking a nurse, which meant that McGraw had to help out. And what did Super Phil say about it all?
“It's painful when they kind of pull on it.”
That’s that then, right? Not quite. Six years after lopping his spuds off, Phil’s wife Robin let slip that she actually did want more children.
And just like that, Dr Phil went back to hospital and got it reversed. He probably helped with that too.
This leads us to believe that this charming little tale is a crock. What is clearly happening here is that Phil is one of those Illuminati lizard men who can shed and regenerate his own organs at will.
It is the only sensible solution to this testicular quandary.
Unless of course, Dr Phil just really loves doing procedures on himself, so we can’t wait for him to fix his teeth with a power drill and a toffee hammer or perform eye-surgery on himself with a whisk and a hot knitting needle.
paul says
seattle washington , in the 1990’s Dr Phil hit me with a vodoo occult accident to kill me . car was an suv designed to kill . please pass this around to everyone you know . this man is involved with the occult and the occult is involved in MURDER . HAVE THE POLICE AND FBI INVESTIGATE THIS VICIOUS AND UNREPENTANT MURDERER AND CRIMINAL