Donald’s Wife Strains, Pushes Out A Baby Trump

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March 20th, 2006 at 16:00 by Stuart Heritage

Donald_trump_3
Donald Trump didn’t get where he is now by doing things by half. So when Donald Trump got his wife , he got her really - and now Donald and his wife have a little baby boy Trump.

Earlier today,
Melania Knauss gave birth to a baby boy - her first and Donald’s fifth. Reports that Donald Trump immediately slapped the placenta on his head as a slightly more convincing hairpiece than the one he already owns are as yet unconfirmed.

Now that he’s a TV megastar after the global success of The
Apprentice, Donald Trump (Stuff) knows how to play the media game. Twenty minutes
after his wife had been through one of the most physically demanding
and draining eight hours of her life as she strained to push a human
being out of her body, Donald Trump was on the phone to TV show Imus In
The Morning to brag all about his phenomenal baby-making skills:

"Everyone’s perfect. She’s very happy and
it’s really great… I continue to stay young, right? I produce children, I stay young."

It’s
thought that the Trump baby immediately fired both his midwife and his
mother in an unconvincing voiceover while wildly prodding his fingers
around, bringing tears of pride to his elderly father’s eyes.

Speaking
on the telephone to Imus In The Morning, Donald Trump admitted that a
name for the baby boy was yet to be finalised - possibly while Donald
and Melania try to think up something even more ridiculous than Donald
Jr, Ivanka, Preteen* or Eric.

Let’s see how long it is before Martha Stewart sends the Trumps a pair of broken glass-filled booties.

Read more:

Donald Trump’s wife gives birth - Newsday

[story by Stuart Heritage]

*oh, alright then, Tiffany. Spoilsports

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This entry was posted on Monday, March 20th, 2006 4:00 pm and is filed under Celebrity Astronime Domini. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

3 Responses to “Donald’s Wife Strains, Pushes Out A Baby Trump”

  1. Taylor Says:
    March 20th, 2006 at 7:20 pm

    Trump’s second daughter’s name is Tiffany, not Preteen! She happens to be a Pre-teen, but that’s not her name!

  2. Jerry Terry Says:
    March 21st, 2006 at 2:38 am

    I don’t know if “Taylor” chose the words for this “headline”…..

    “strains, pushes out baby”

    These are degrading, barbaric,offensive, and crass words to describe childbirth.

    Whoever is responsible needs to rethink the image he/she created here.

    Very sincerely,
    Jerry Terry

  3. eyeballs Says:
    March 24th, 2006 at 8:18 pm

    Trump calls in to the Imus show 20 minutes after the wife gives birth - to talk about how young HE feels! Now THAT is barbaric and degrading to the birth of his son (not to mention the dignity of his wife.)

    What a self-promoting dunce is the Donald! And crass, too. After what he put ex-Marla Maples through (word is that Anthony Pellicano, recently hit in that illegal wire-tapping case in CA, was spying on Maples at Trump’s behest), I can barely wait to see what he does to this current model wife when he decides it’s time to move on!

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