There’s truth in jest, at least so far as Russell Brand is concerned.
He recently made a comment that his wedding to Katy Perry would be a naked one, where the dress-code would be clothing optional. But he wasn’t really joking, was he? Would you joke about precious, precious naked time if you were about to marry Katy’s boobs?
These new rumours about Katy and Russell are just filthy enough to be true. The good kind of filthy – where other people are in the room at the time and you jauntily chuckle because they don’t know what a dirty blighter you are. Not the bad kind – where you end up rocking back-and-forth in the bath.
Russell Brand is just delightful at starting sex-based rumours about himself. The latest is that his wedding to fiance-of-one-month Katy Perry might be clothing optional. For those too dainty to know what that means, basically the couple would be asking you to dry clean your birthday suit and make sure to give it a good going over with a lint brush before turning up. Oh, no, that’s not right. We’re thinking of velour or some snazzy fabric. Russell would be asking his friends to come to the wedding in whatever feels most comfortable. Even if the most comfortable thing is to roll out of bed and attend their wedding in nothing but their bare unwashed bottoms.
From The Metro:
Russell Brand wants a ?naked? wedding. The hairy funnyman ? who got engaged to Katy Perry last month ? says unlike most weddings, the dress code will be radically informal. He joked: ?We are going to do the wedding naked! All the families will be naked! we're still deciding what to do. There's no juicy details yet.?
Somewhere on this invite would be something over-familiar about personal grooming, trimming, and deodorising. However we were so terrified at the thought of Russell’s hairy friends going au-naturale that we stopped reading, retreated to our happy place, and waited for an adult to come home and cradle us.
We believe Russell’s tomfoolery – as much as we believe Avatar deserves to be the highest grossing film ever, even with a plot lifted from Pocahontas. We believe the couple should have a hairy, sexually-inappropriate wedding where everyone runs home, showers, and can’t stop crying afterward.
We believe – screw it – we believe these two crazy kids are capable of anything. We approve of their weirdness, so long as this wedding has a safety word. Don’t tell anyone this, but our safety word is “Bananas”. As in, “Bloody hell, this Avatar film has been going on for hours, can I not go home yet? Are you really gonna make me say it? Bananas! Bananas! Bananas! Wohoo. Let’s hop it.”
This was a guest blog by Amy Grindhouse, whose safety word, again, is ‘Bananas’.
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter
sport musik says
I think Katy Perrys songs are just amazing, her songtext always make me smile and still there is a deeper meaning behind it. Does anybody know where I can get an autograph of her?