It must be really awful to be Macaulay Culkin at the moment. First his success as an actor is suddenly outstripped by his slightly less off-putting brother Kieran and then he lost girlfriend Mila Kunis to Natalie Portman’s loving embrace.
Oh… we’ve just found out that’s not real. That’s disappointing. Anyway- they still broke up whether she’s cosying up to Portman or not.
Now it seems that the star of the Home Alone films and not much else is taking refuge in the cavernous vagina of Spanish ‘adult actress’ Irene Lopez.
Culkin was supposedly spotted in a ‘Sex Club’ in Barcelona, the actor only recognisable through the gimp mask thanks to his trademark ‘shock’ pose. Sources close to the couple are said to be covered in baby oil and tears.
Naturally, at hecklerspray we like to have an idea of the output of actors and music artists before we insult them. In Irene’s case, most of our research* involved various forms of input.
Of course, there’s nowhere better to get over your girlfriend than between the legs of an Iberian porn star. However, all is not as rosy as it seems for those readers hoping that this relationship might as deep a connection as that of David & Victoria Beckham.
Unfortunately the star of ‘Looking a Bit Like a Blonde Alien with a Cock in Her Mouth’ is said to be open to the idea of reconciliation between Culkin and Meg from Family Guy stating that she wouldn’t stand in his way should he decide to get back together with Natalie Portman’s Ukrainian fuck-toy.
It’s a nice sentiment that Macaulay Culkin’s really good for a fling and has impressive sexual prowess but isn’t someone that she’d want a relationship with.
It really does beg the question; how boring is Macaulay Culkin?
*This article is actually the most expensive in hecklerspray history as we had to hire a high-definition projector for the office. You know… for research.
the yapper says
I’m just so glad mila and he finally parted ways. What a mismatch….hate to be mean…but he’s not a good looking dude. glad she got eyes fixed so she can really see him now. photo with porn queen he looks very high. Ugh…… do feel a little sorry for him but here’s a guy who had money and could have done something with his life but didn’t….so it’s hard to feel sorry for him. Don’t get how mila could have stayed with such a weirdo for so long???? OIY!!!