Hey there!

You know, it's not all 'me, me, me' here at hecklerspray towers. Sure, we have our regular Disturbing Friday Fun section – which has so far introduced the world to Portuguese Ghost Ladies and People Who Want to Have Sex With Sonic The Hedgehog – but occasionally we like to perform a public service too.

That's why this week we're asking the following: do you identify with any of these pointers?

• You would rather camp in the woods than be in a motel.
• You have no trouble finding your way in the wilds.
• You feel comfortable in the forest.
• You feel ill or upset when you see predatory animals killed for a single body part.
  
• You feel particularly ill when a certain animal is killed for above reasons
• You always enjoyed going to the zoo, but felt sorry for the animals.
• You recycle when you can.
  
• You try to be environmentally friendly.
• You have many pets or would like many pets
• You have shifted shape into an animal in your dreams wilfully

• You've shifted in the astral plane.
• You've mentally shifted into the thought patterns of an animal.
• You've physically shifted into an animal.
• You've mentally shifted with some physical symptoms.
• You've shifted the shape of your aura, or it appears as an animal.

 If you said yes to… we dunno, one of those or something… then chances are you're a fully-fledged Werebeast! And – hey – even Lycanthropic demon-people need a shoulder to cry on. That's why we're directing you to this fantastic support group. This is the place to go if you want to discuss all your animalistic urges – like barking really loud until 3am, emitting a whining howl for no discernible reason or taking a big old poo in hecklerspray's front garden on a regular basis.

All of which are pretty goddamn annoying, by the way.

Read More:

The Werebeast Support Page

[story by C J Davies]