The Internet, famously, is full of a lot of bollocks. But every now and again we hear something that we want to be true so much that it hurts. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. You be the judge. It obviously is though.
An amazing thing dropped through the letter box of hecklerspray‘s letter box this morning. In a largely unmarked envelope, save the words ImpOrtANt ThiS we gallant and giddy lot started foaming at the beak because this was either a bomb or staggering, bum shattering news. OK, being truthful, we got an email, and started gawping.
Why? Because it claims that Pete Doherty is nothing more than an invention of the KLF, that’s why.
According to an email we got, Pete Doherty (DVDs) is a giant hoax created by Bill Drummond and Jimmy Cauty of KLF/ burning a million quid/ firing blanks at Brits audiences/ leaving dead sheep lying around fame. Evidence? You want evidence? Here’s what the email said:
The Samaritans have today recruited 600 extra staff to deal with an
expected surge in calls as troubled fans come to terms with today’s
revelations about rocker and teen icon Pete Doherty. In a surprise
press conference today, the men behind Doherty’s career revealed
themselves – and admitted that the Libertines, Babyshambles, the tales
of drug use, the armed robberies and the affair with supermodel Kate
Moss have all been part of one of the largest hoaxes in British
history.”
The men behind the scandal – Bill Drummond and Jimmy Cauty, who were themselves infamous popstars under the name The KLF – apparently admitted how they plucked a young Buddy Holly impersonator from obscurity and made him a ‘star’.
“It was a meant to be a quick stunt to show the frailties of our celebrity-obsessed culture,” said Cauty, adding, “there are too many people who are famous despite their lack of talent, usefulness and
basic intelligence. We wanted to do something that held a mirror up to that.”
Drummond and Cauty, two people whom genius is a hat that really fits, carried on in their prepared statements about how Doherty, real name Trevor McDermott was making a paltry living as a Buddy Holly impersonator, it is claimed. Being a general trampy arsed buffoon, the duo quickly realised that this toad would be ideal for their grand duping:
“The plan involved proving three theories we have about current British society. The first is that in the so-called “alternative” scene, everybody is too scared of missing The Next Big Thing to worry about anything else.” To prove this, some session musicians were provided to compose the rest of the “band”, The Libertines, and rumours of explosive gigs were leaked to the media. The gigs in question never actually took place, but we didn’t have to worry about that. Soon the buzz around The Libertines was so frenetic, journalists were falling over themselves to claim to have been at the front of every single fictional gig.”
Within weeks, The Libertines had gone overground, and wombling free. The e-mail alleges that Drummond and Cauty moved to their second theory:
“We feel that our culture has become an enormous soap opera. We don’t care what a person thinks, or creates, or contributes. We just care about what they do in their normal lives. Especially when it’s something they shouldn’t be doing.”
To demonstrate this marvellous notion, it’s claimed that the fab two orchestrated a number of scandals. The first was the notorious robbery staged in the house of Carl ‘P45’ Barat. When the house-usery took place, McDermott (aka
Doherty) was virtually an unknown outside of the wank-mag, NME but afterwards? Front page of every major national tabloid. A twist in the tale was yet to unfurl. That was the affair with the most famous Mantis in the world Kate Moss.
“That was not something that we planned or had any involvement. Whether she knew about the hoax is
something we are not party to. We have never had any contact with Miss Moss.”
This was a surprising result for the experiment. Smack, cracks and crime had made McDermott a media hot spud, the relationship with one of fashion’s most famous women slung the hopeless cunt into the world of
A-List celebritard.
In spite of this boon, the project started turning into a major setback for Drummond and Cauty. The email claims they were preparing to enter the final phase of the scheme, ‘Doherty’ decided that he wanted to part company with them and threatened legal actions if any details were leaked:
“We were upset at the apparent failure of our grand project, and also at the monster we had created in Pete Doherty. Our third theorem – that ‘If enough people say that a piece of bullshit is a bar of gold, we’ll
believe it’s a bar of gold’ – seemed to have been beyond salvation. Fortunately, at that point Pete released the first Babyshambles album.”
In the time since then, the e-mails states that Drummond and Cauty have been locked in a vicious legal battle, which was eventually settled out of court by the discovery of a video showing McDermott/Doherty singing Peggy Sue at a
holiday camp in Devon. McDermott still denies all charges at the time of press.
Will this bugger Doherty’s career up? Who knows. Won’t hurt to try, though.
Read more:
Pete Doherty and the KLF – Record of The Day
[story by Mof Gimmers]
THC says
lol…i know the great KLF can perform a good blag anyday it must be said that if they are responsible for HOKEY COKEY PETEY then they must have been bored one day while musically blocked and didnt think what they had unleashed on the world!….
although at least it got petey a shag with an ‘A’ list model…alegedly anyway lol
neil melling says
what utter shite
drseantwat says
oh how I wish this were true…
blaugrau says
too good, to be true. but i enjoy the joke
madeofsquares says
i truly hope to fuck this is true. i really do..
blake says
good diddly goodie~~~~~~
if only, IF ONLY, this coulda being held off a few more weeks until Docher-boy got a tad more popular here in de States (of dis-array).
can you imagine if this tosser had gotten on Sat Night Live or something like it over here???
aaah well, dreams and all that.
Aaron says
This is the biggest load of bollocks. The person who has written this would of had to of been on some of pete’s drugs to even think this shit up. Has the person even met Pete? i think not because if you are ever lucky enough to meet the guy you know he is the real deal, and not some piece of shit like brittany spears. which wouldbt be able too write a sentence about her self letalow a song. For the person who wrote this song fuck off and stop trying to ruin a man and sell tabloids.
MASSEY says
HAVE A WORD WITH YOURSELVES, THATS NEARLY AS RIDICULOUS AS THE ‘PAUL MCCARTNEY IS DEAD’ BLAG. RUBBISH!!!
Kirstie says
oh fudge if that is true then im gonna kill that man, i freaking love babyshambles. It really cant be true wouldnt it have been proven already when he went to court and jail and the doctor it really would have been proven nahhh that cant be true but good idea
jonathan says
the ‘machine’ works with no error.
Katie says
True or not is not an important matter. This report just goes to prove what a legend Pete Doherty actually is-whether he’s fact or fiction his presence has captured every everyone to the point where you question his very existence.
How can he not be real? Many people have witnessed perform! He is without doubt an extremely talented man. And who else can capture a crowd with such charisma? Watching him play is mesmerising. He is a man of our time, there’s no match. His bands, his lyrics, poems etc. are unmatchable. The libertines second album, reached platinum in the UK and gold in the USA. AND he’s actually rather intelligent. –he reached four A grades at A Level in general studies, history, English literature and economics. And at the age of 16, he won a poetry competition and embarked on a tour of Russia organised by the British Council. He was accepted for an English course at Oxford University, but preferred to study in London at University College London where he eventually dropped out in his first year to start the libertines. And so now at the height of his carreer surely he can be forginven for doing his share of drug abuse, he worked hard and done his bit for society (like any true rock n roll star).
If your in doubt of how great this man is read through these books http://www.albionarks.com/books/.- The Books of Albion, Peter’s personal diaries. Whether he’s made up or what he’s made a huge inspiring impression on many lives.
theboygriff says
god, i love the KLF. the story itself is nearly as funny as reading all the po-faced doherty fans storm off to their rooms and slam their doors. well, that showed us.
clomb says
If the KLF could have written songs that good they won’t of had to resort to stunts to get attention. And bear in mind the first few years of The Libertines weren’t as infanous as the article makes out. The occasional mention in the Sun’s gossip column was as big as it got for Doherty until he met Kate Moss. Certainly would be an amzaing feat, but any idiot can see it’s not true.
Si says
So is your point that if the KLF had sold more records they wouldn’t have had to resort to stunts? Leaving aside the fact that the KLF sold a ######## more records than the Libertines/Babyshambles before making a conscious decision to stop making them; the KLF’s entire career was about stunts. That was kinda the point. That and mocking the music industry. If Babyshambles had written songs that good they’d be famous for more than their singer’s drug habits and lovelife. But yeah- you’re right clearly its bollocks but was there ever any doubt over it?
Babyshambler says
If anybody believes this bullshite then i am truly worried for the. Pete Doherty on the other hand is the greatest sing/songwriter of our generation!
Jane Parker says
There was a followup to this article posted on the libertines forum.
http://www.network54.com/Forum/188020/thread/1139621954/last-1139654489/The+Libertine+story+-+a+hoax+all+along–
Starch says
Now we wait for the obligatory “Pete Joins the JAMS” and “Pete Meets the KLF” singles.
davey says
I knew he was a lot of mince with absolutely sod all talent, so this comes as no surprise to me at all – ive been laughing at docherty fans for years, now this justifies my actions nicely :)
me says
bloody funny – even if it’s not troo…
Mozza says
Ha ha, I think the funniest thing to come out of this is the pathetic losers that think Pete Doherty is anything more than a whining little junkie that sings crap pop songs. Best singer songwriter of our generation you’ve got to be joking.
Pete Doherty says
I don’t care if it’s true or not. I just hope it means that a few of the snivelling, studded belt wearing, “alternatives” who worship him realise that it IS pop”ular” music and he’s the 2000 equivalent of Take That. Oh and Blake claiming that you’ve met someone when all he did was spit in your face is pathetic. Fuck you forever!
Bumberclart says
Hes a talentless druggie wanker anyway. Who really cares except the teenage, wrist slitting goths?
clomb says
In response to Si-I still believe if they had the talent they would have preferred to write good music than basicly seek attention. They may well have been mocking the music industry but all they did was strenghen it. I would also dispute that it’s lack of talent that stopped Libertines/Babyshambles achieving fame. The sound of the music was a little too garage/punk for popular taste, doesn’t fade nicly into the background like Coldplay. Nor were the songs essentially the catchy but meaningless brand that Franz Ferdinand became popular with.
kingsize says
The KLF are just a handy scapegoat that give this particular tale a bit of creedence.if somebody had written the same story & said it was louis walsh & simon cowell behind the scam & they were only doing it for the cash it wouldn’t have stood up at all.its nice to think that cauty & drummond are still getting this publicity 14 years after they killed off the KLF.i wonder if anyone will even remember pete doherty (even as a useless druggie wanker) in 14 years time
Si says
To Clomb- I don’t particularly have anything against the Libs, they were an alright little band with some serious potential. It wasn’t their fault they represented a music publication’s wet dream and therefore said publication hyped them so much they polarized opinions, when they should have had a bit longer away from the spotlight to develop. some bands arrive fully formed- they weren’t one of them. I’ve seen Doherty and he was a charismatic performer but if Babyshambles are anything to go by, he can’t seem to write a song at the moment and the success they’re achieving now is largely due to the attention that he claims to dislike one minute and then flirts with the next. In short he’s acting like a self-loathing junkie who hates being a figure of notoriety but realises its a good way to make some money and I don’t get the impression he’s exactly minted.
Glenn says
It seems that in trying to make cunts of us all, Drummond and Cunty have merely made giant cunts of themselves.
Mu Mu says
Brilliant – The KLF are gonna rock yer!!!
What’s even funnier however are the number of people jumping to the defence of good old snort meister himself.
Best singer/song writer of our generation….. thank the lord I’m a generation on!
Toodle pip
Pinkus says
the best singer/songwriter of our generation? .. hahaha. the KFL are right – people will buy into any kind of hype the media creates. and poor kate makes one bad decision after another.
Chris says
It ain’t a hoax!
From tomorrow’s Dagenham Evening Chronicle:
FURY AS DOHERTY TRUTH REVEALED
The Samaritans have today recruited 600 extra staff to deal with an expected surge in calls as troubled fans come to terms with today’s revelations about rocker and teen icon Pete Doherty. In a surprise press conference today, the men behind Doherty’s career revealed themselves – and admitted that the Libertines, Babyshambles, the tales of drug use, the armed robberies and the affair with supermodel Kate Moss have all been part of one of the largest hoaxes in British history.
The men behind the scandal – Bill Drummond and Jimmy Cauty, who were themselves infamous popstars under the name The KLF – admitted how they plucked a young Buddy Holly impersonator Doherty from obscurity and made him a media darling. “It was a meant to be a quick stunt to show the frailties of our celebrity-obsessed culture,” said Cauty, adding, “there are too many people who are famous despite their lack of talent, usefulness and basic intelligence. We wanted to do something that held a mirror up to that.” Mr Drummond called Britain’s pop-culture “sick” and said that although he regretted the hurt caused to Doherty’s many fans, he hoped “this incident taught us all some important things”.
In a prepared statement, the two men – famous for many other pop pranks, including the famous burning of GBP1million on a remote Scottish island – detailed how they manipulated the British Press into making Doherty an icon. Doherty – whose real name has now been revealed to be Trevor McDermott – was making a living as a part-time Buddy Holly impersonator in the Cornwall holiday circuit. He began a short-lived affair with the singer of a well known 80’s rock band, and was introduced to Drummond and Cauty at a backstage party in London’s West End. The men described how a drunken McDermott amused them with his slurred singing and frenetic dance movements, and how they then realised that this would be the perfect “dupe” for a plan they had been hatching for some time.
“The plan involved proving three theories we have about current British society,” reads the statement. “The first is that in the so-called “alternative” scene, everybody is too scared of missing The Next Big Thing to worry about anything else.” To prove this, some session musicians were provided to compose the rest of the “band”, The Libertines, and rumours of exposive gigs were leaked to the media. “The gigs in question never actually took place, but we didn’t have to worry about that. Soon the buzz around The Libertines was so frenetic, journalists were falling over themselves to claim to have been at the front of every single fictional gig.” Within weeks, The Libertines were appearing on magazines and receiving record offers. Gigs sold out in minutes, while their first album “Up The Bracket” flew off shelves.
Feeling that their first point had been proved, Drummond and Cauty moved to their second theory: “We feel that our culture has become an enormous soap opera. We don’t care what a person thinks, or creates, or contributes. We just care about what they do in their normal lives. Especially when it’s something they shouldn’t be doing.”
To demonstrate this, the men co-ordinated a number of scandals. First was a robbery staged in the house of one of the band members. When this took place, McDermott (aka Doherty) was unknown outside of the alternative music scene. An incident of this calibre was sufficient, however, to catapult McDermott onto the front page of every major national tabloid. “One day we has just another singer, the next day he was ‘Disgraced Celebrity Rocker’, and he hasn’t been out of the papers since”. Further revelations about drug abuse and violence kept McDermott and The Libertines on the front pages for months.
One thing that took even Drummond and Cauty by surprise was the affair with model Kate Moss. “That was not something that we planned or had any involvement. Whether she knew about the hoax is something we are not party to. We have never had any contact with Miss Moss.” However, this was the boost their project needed – where the drugs and crime had made McDermott a media sensation, the relationship with one of fashion’s most famous women catapulted him into the world of true celebrity. “While we had not planned this, it certainly proved our point. There are many superior artists in the country today, but they never appear in Heat or The Sun, because they don’t have the words ‘boyfriend of Kate Moss’ after their name.”
Despite this boost, the project began running into a major setback for Drummond and Cauty. Just as they were preparing to enter the final phase of their scheme, Doherty decided that he wanted to part company with them, the fake band, and begin seriously recording music. He stopped all contact with the men, and threatened legal actions if any details were leaked to the press. “We were upset at the apparent failure of our grand project, and also at the monster we had created in Pete Doherty. Our third theorem – that ‘If enough people say that a piece of s*** is a bar of gold, we’ll believe it’s a bar of gold’ – seemed to have been beyond salvation. Fortunately, at that point Pete released the first Babyshambles album.”
In the time since then, Drummond and Cauty have been locked in a vicious legal battle, which was eventually settled out of court by the discovery of a videotape showing McDermott singing “Peggy Sue” at a Butlin’s in Devon. Publicly, McDermott still strongly denies all charges. How this affects the future career of Pete Doherty remains to be seen.
felixcostello says
And I suppose Mick Jones is in on it too?
Rubbishhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Fucking publicity whores. That’s all this is.
As to you sods who neglect to see Peter’s talent, I’m rather curious to see what’s on your playlist, or how much of his music you’ve actually given a listen.
Cablecasual says
I hope this story is true, althjough I doubt it. Needless to say its brightened my afternoon up no end as it is very funny.
Personally, never thought much to the Libertines, typical NME nonsense and hype, one of the reason I stopped buying it years ago. As for Doherty, I think the fans annoy me more than the man, using the typical “if you dont like him then you dont like music” arguments. Cant say I care for the music, nothing original, just garage punk, but then what is original these days, just rests on how well you do it. All I can see on the horizon is another Kurt Cobain scenario, albeit a man with far less talent….
Mart says
oh wait, its in the dagenham evening chronical?
must be true
Si says
If the stories true it requires razorlight to be fictional too as Borrel was in an early incarnation on the Libertines. No matter how much we want it to be true, its not.
nichola says
This story totally contradicts it’s self in the begining it says “the tales of drug use, the armed robberies and the affair with supermodel Kate Moss have all been part of one of the largest hoaxes in British history. ” and at theend it says “One thing that took even Drummond and Cauty by surprise was the affair with model Kate Moss. “That was not something that we planned or had any involvement. Whether she knew about the hoax is something we are not party to. We have never had any contact with Miss Moss” its alot of rubbish
nevo says
KLF are just jumping on the latest band wagon to hit the stupid media of this CUNTry,simply for some publicity.dont be surprised if they are bringing out some shite CD or merchandise in the next few weeks and they just want the dumn press to know about it.whoever was number 1 in the gossip columns last few months were going to be picked by these past-it fuck wits.i could type a million facts down to prove this story is fake bull shit but its not worth it,anyone wiv half a brain knows its rubbish so if u wanna beleive it you are a bigger fuck wit than KLF(Keep.Lying.Fuck-wits)
Boobyface says
KLF shit all over Docherty 1000 times. Docherty is the most over-hyped dribbling piece of turd to float over the UK in the last decade.
Rockstar says
Here’s one for you guys who think he’s good, and love his “poems”. It’s a simple equation that in mathematical terms actually scientifically will show you what talent is. Talent= Dave Gilmour
I’ll show you guys again in case your confused because you guys need an education into what real genius is Talent= Led Zepplin
Talent= Jimi Hendrix
Talent = The band
Talent = Radiohead
Talent = Richard Ashcroft
Talent = Jeff buckley
Talent = Nirvana (kurt Cobain)
Talent = Eric Clapton
Talent = Aerosmith
Talent = Joni Mitchell
Get the idea, if you want to read “poetry” check anything writenn by Bob Dylan, or even Neil Young or Leonard Cohen. The best bit of poetry that fits this situation is “clowns to the left, jokers to the right, here I am stuck in the middle with you”. Seriously stop eating this media made soggy biscuit kids and go and listen to some pink floyd then you will realise how much of a genius Mr Doherty is, trust me you’ll be using his cd as a tea coaster or door stop after you listen to any of the bands I’ve mentioned. This wannabe will never ever be held in the same esteem as someone like Kurt Cobain, he actually had talent and recorded good songs that sold really well before he was unfortunately riddled with drugs, I think he would be lost without drugs to write any lyrics at all, he is writing completely non sensical drivel and you all go “clever boy” I wonder if Pete will ever write a song like “Dazed and Confused” by Zepplin, hmmm, let’s just say don’t hold your breath, if you think I’m talking rubbish go and listen to this song, before posting a reply. I play lead guitar and sing in a band and if I ever meet him I will beat the shit out of him.
KrisRockstar says
Hmm no response, Pete’s fans must have smelt the coffee on this one.
yvonne says
hoos pete doherty, is he from derry? i’m a 6-4 16 stone transsexual living in an ice cream van and badly in need of an intro to kate’s moss so i can get some good quality slimming powder, think the KLF can help me? the little pic at the top, is that pete doh. or britney? its the kind of look i strive for. cyizall Yvonda
CK says
Just like to point out to all the teenie boppers and cry babies, that even if it is true, you are still allowed to like the man’s music… and you could even argue that pining for his crack addled pasty bag of bones is even easier now that “he’s been taken advantage of”TM
KLF may be pranksters, this may even be a double bluff, but they’re far more orignial and interesting than Petey Crack ever could be. Word to ya moms.
Jimi says
this is the truth:
http://www.gawker.com/news/pete-doherty/the-pete-doherty-hoax-resolved-156036.php
Mancfish says
Obviously it is highly unlikely to be true but wouldn’t it be funny as fuck if it were.
The funniest thing about it all though are the comments posted by the bedwetting little devotees of Doherty who are so furious that anyone could say something bad about their poor misunderstood little Petey that they lose control of their grammar and end up posting comments that look as though they were written by Joey Deakin with Dyslexia!
Doherty is not talented, it is not a privelige to meet him, he is not the saviour of rock n roll, he is not Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain etc reincarnated. He is a jumped up little no mark baghead junkie scumbag with all you pathetic little middle class indie kids worshipping at the altar of his talent vaccuum!
Get over it, Doherty is a cock!
Herbert says
I’m crying with laughter at those above who thought the above article was real. Divs.
llbrainwashed says
april fools – i love the klf and petey – laffin
cog sinister says
I went to see Babyshambles and their were people dressed up like Pete Doherty!
Me and my friends were pointing and laughing at them..
I like reading about Doherty’s exploits and I like reading about what the KLF got up to, it’s all a laugh. What makes me sad is people who have no clue who the KLF are saying that they’re wankers cos they made this up (which they obviously didn’t, anyone read The Manual?),
I had this when i tried to explain the joke to a friend who’s a big Doherty fan and she went mental. Get a clue.
tom says
fuck i wish pete was just an illusion.
anyone who thinks hes a legend of inspiration is full of fucking shite.
he is a twat.
and the fattest heroin addict ive ever seen.
Mr Bojangles says
RANT AHOY!…
D’you know what? I think it’s a crying tragedy that a coked up stoner with average talent can be elevated to the status effectively of a legend.
The BBC seem to cover Doherty more than world affairs, adding credibility and cult status to this guy in a rather sad attempt at looking “down” with modern culture that makes an otherwise cutting edge news station seem like an out of touch middle-aged Dad on Radio 2 saying “I like all the old stuff, you know, Buddy Holly and that, and I like The Streets.”
In modern culture, celebrity=success in the eyes of most, and therefore in the eyes of teenagers searching for identity. Fine if that extends to wearing silly outfits or copious amounts of gold jewellery. But Dohoerty has been made in to a role model, which scares the living poop out of me, because his image, manufactured or otherwise, is of someone pumping themselves with huge amounts of drugs, and then swaggering around like an indestructible anti-superhero. I don’t want to sound like an old fart, cos I’m not, but as a role model, I think he’s about as far from what we’d like to think our kids will be as is possible.
The media expose themselves for the sick twisted circus tent MCs that they are by covering anything to do with Doherty like a freak show to be peered at from an ivory tower by the middle class. Why is nobody helping this poor bloke?
And hang on a tick “cog sinister” – this walking car crash is FUNNY? Anything that makes taking drugs ‘all a laugh’ and parading a coke subject around like a god isn’t exactly Benny Hill.
And as for this new revelation that he was a hoax all along – as most people are saying it doesn’t really make a difference. Most bands start up in pretty odd ways, and this is no exception.
What I suggest is that a little like the Advertising Monsters in The Simpsons, we all turn around, ignore him, and perhaps he might bugger off and sort himself out. Poor lamb.
Jay says
who are KLF??
I love the fact that the Doherty haters are so avid that he is talentless and a tosser. If thats your opinion then dont get so het up about him and move on. I dont like 50cent but i dont seek out articles about him so i can read them and get more angry.
Its all a bit wierd. anyway im off to download some KLF (ill be back to rant if they are shite)
TenaciousB says
I’m gonna say this loud and clear to all the Babyshambles/Libertines/music industry idiots: Pete Doherty is a right, proper, fucking wanker!!!! People who say he’s the greatest singer/songwriter of our generation are clearly taking the piss, and I feel truly sorry for them for believing all of the hype. This cretin has done absolutely fuck-all worthwhile during his life, and consistently proves to everyone that he is indeed a shitstain on the toiletbowl of life. I really do hope that this story is true, because then it would seem fitting to show those idiot Pete fans that they truly are the sad bastards that we all knew they were.
Love the KLF, by the way!
James Keane says
so…. pete doherty… saviour of british rock n roll …. the reason why the world tilts on its axis a little more than usual everytime he takes the stage…. is a figurehead for a massive experiment made up by a couple of sad cunts. tut tut, do you not have anything else better to do with your time. fucking wankers
Bigmarky says
Half witted junkie at best i hope he does not do a Kobain or a Morrison though i cant be arsed with the 10 years of sanctimony.
TimGum says
Anyone who is interested in this stuff should check out Bill Drummond’s literary efforts he undertook with Mark Manning. I have just read “the wild highway”, and Drummond is one of the most astute and subversive thinkers of our time. He is also completely mad, and has had the gumption to see through much more difficult projects than hoaxing Doherty’s career.
Whether this rumour is true or not, Drummond has proved that “the public,” whoever they are, are a bunch of gullible and highly susceptible morons, willing to buy whatever NME tells them they need to just by bringing this rumour into the limelight and showing that it is believable. Don’t get me wrong, I like a lot of the libs stuff, they had some good tunes, but babyshambles? C’mon, I’ve seen better bands in my local! Good work by the KLF. Doesn’t everyone feel a twat now.
can't stand me now says
The KLF were not involved but the JAMS in conjunction with the Justified Ancients of MuMu today issued this statement from their ice-cream van:
All Hail the living Eris Discordia. The apple has been thrown.
Chappers says
funny,twisted. who had the time to think all that trough? what a load of crap……..no pls stand back and take time to think about it, bollox!!
Rob says
Mr Bojangles, TenaciousB and all you other braindead wankers step back and find out the full life of Pete Doherty and what he has achieved in his music not his drugs. Your posts are the world’s greatest proof of reincarnation; no one could get that dumb in just one lifetime. Dullards, do yourself and everyone else a favor: disconnect your computer from the Internet.
Thanks for your contributions, but if I had wanted to hear from somebody with your IQ, I’d be at my local supermarket talking to the vegetables. Are you lot always this ignorant, or are you making a special effort today? If you knew what you’re talking about, you’d be dangerous. As Ellen Glasgow once remarked: “He knows so little and knows it so fluently.”
If those posts were intended as jokes, you forgot to include the punch line. If I had wanted to talk to somebody with your personality, I would be at the damn pet store talking to the lizards. Maybe you wouldn’t read like such pathetic losers if you weren’t intellectually slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through a vat of chunky peanut butter; if your weren’t so fat that the Brooklyn Bridge would collapse if you ever tried to go Bungee Jumping off of it, or if you didn’t have a face so ugly that your Psychiatrist makes you lie face down. Who am I kidding? You would.
In conclusion, sit down and shut up before you trip over your own tongues and hurt yourselves.
philpo says
Ha ha ha. Im suprised at the amount of people that actually believed this. Deary me, we do have a nation of complete idiots.
Neil says
haha. Having just listened to some Babyshambles this is story makes complete sense and explains how this trash gets so popular. enjoy the sonic rubbish, sheep.
Gimpo says
OF COURSE DOHERTY IS A HOAX! Isn’t it incredible how a joke can become the ‘truth’ if enough people are sucked in (and clearly way too embarrased to admit it). The same people who love Doherty are probably still voting ‘new labour’ and dreaming of pixies… hey ho… ;-)
Tall Cedars says
Watch the Great rock n Roll Swindle and there you have it.
gavin says
if the klf came out with those identical sounds they wouldn’t have got anywhere, since the early days of pop music older stars have assisted in manufacturing stars of tomorrow as an outlet, potboiler or otherwise. if this is true, the only thing any different is that it happened in a territory people put too much stock in – indie rock bollocks. i wouldn’t be shocked, do you lot really care?
plus side is one or two nice songs came out of it, and if you found a way to really relate to any of the lyrics consider yourself blessed.
dr whooooo ooo hey dr who dr whoooo says
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Despite this boost, the project began running into a major setback for Drummond and Cauty. Just as they were preparing to enter the final phase of their scheme, Doherty decided that he wanted to part company with them, the fake band, and begin seriously recording music. He stopped all contact with the men, and threatened legal actions if any details were leaked to the press. “We were upset at the apparent failure of our grand project, and also at the monster we had created in Pete Doherty. Our third theorem – that ‘If enough people say that a piece of s*** is a bar of gold, we’ll believe it’s a bar of gold’ – seemed to have been beyond salvation. Fortunately, at that point Pete released the first Babyshambles album.”
In the time since then, Drummond and Cauty have been locked in a vicious legal battle, which was eventually settled out of court by the discovery of a videotape showing McDermott singing “Peggy Sue” at a Butlin’s in Devon. Publicly, McDermott still strongly denies all charges. How this affects the future career of Pete Doherty remains to be seen.
********
Not really. All vicious lies. Pete Doherty is a wonderful artist, who will no doubt have a long and successful music career due to his incedible musical talents. This was concocted as part of HateQuest 2006
=====================================================================================
ok everybody
lie down on the floor and keep calm
take me aha take me aha aha
take me to the church of the klf
take me to the church of the klf
ladies and gentlemen the klf have now left the building
r these guys for real???
i mean
wots with all this justified ancients of mumushit!!!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA
KLF RULEZ FOREVAAAAA
SAMPLE CITY
- says
http://www.gawker.com/news/pete-doherty/the-pete-doherty-hoax-resolved-156036.php
Pete isn’t a hoax set up by the KLF! Don’t believe everything you read, some of it is pure rubbish.
Pete’s real name is PETER Doherty, but not Trevor McDermott! Pfff..
I WEAR THREE HATS says
HE CANT WRITE DECENT MUSIC,IT’S JUST DRUGGY RAMBLINGS
HE IS A SWEATY LITTLE SKINNY NERD
HE WEARS STUPID 60’s CLOTHES FROM A CHARITY SHOP
HE CANT SING AT ALL
HE SHOULD BE LOCKED UP WITH NO GEAR FOREVER
pete is a crack fiend says
ive heard his poems.
i think i would rather enjoy pouring hot lava in my ears than listen to that crap again.
L L Brainwashed says
well well welly my lickle droogs bed ways is right ways time to get a lickle spatchka – the KLF may have made absurdism possible in RnR but Pete Doherty has that “i’ll tell you what it is about Pete Doherty” quality. I met him we exchanged I tell you as true as i am BLUebeard Trevor has never once cheated on Kate, Kate never Cheadleed on Pete. No one listens anymore isn’t that what the KLF are saying and why James Cauty is now an ARTist and Bill well Bill is secretly managing Celtic Partthistle – who could win the title and get into europe. There will be nothing of Scotland left at this rate. Pete the parties at mine at seven bring a can……….
cb says
brilliant reporting – totally true
sheep says
well im convinced that theres more to this than meets the eye. theres a track on a shambles cd east wing b wing d wiiiing and its the biggest load of tripe i think thats ever crossed into the public domain. how anybody could endorse this utter shit and still consider themselfs to be a valid artist is beyond believing even more than this tale of the latest KLF hoax
KEZ says
KEZ says
its SNOT!!!!!!! ITZ TRUE!!! WEll I think trevor suits him!!!!!!! I might have moreof a chance if hes called TREV!!!!!! I’ve got an ex called TREV!!
Not REALLY he AINT PETER DOHERTY!!!!!!!!! Thats a LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!I know!! i found out the day I nearly died!!! I nearly died coz of him (one reason) – thats how I found out!!! I had a heart attack and found out that Peter Doherty ain’t called Peter Doherty REALLY!!!!! DOUBLE HEART ACHE!
I still like him – but I feel CHEATED!! Well none of these stars are EVER what they seem! I bet any money hes got a RICH DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OOWCHH!! I know its gonna break a million hearts!! But he ain’t Peter Doherty!
Hes TREV!!!!!!!! Goes well wiv KEZ!!! HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!
KEZ says
TREV & KEZ GO TO THE CHIPPY!!!!!!!!
HASHHAHAHAHHAH
HA!
KEZ says
actually take the RICH DADDY thing back!!
How can he have rich Dad if they called him TREVOR????
HA!!
LOVE KEZ!
KEZ 4 TREV!!!!!!
xx
x
x
x
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KEZ says
< SORRY TO CONTINUE….thinkin about it!!
It would seem right that he was called TREVOR McDermott
Fitting for the occassion !!
The occassion in which I found out!!
HA!!!!!!!!!!!
Lookin back it seemed right that it would be something as comical!!
Why did he change it from Trevor Mc Dermott to Peter Doherty???
Well David Bowie was Davie Jones!!
HA!!!
I’m sorry Pete!
he knows I LOVE him!!!
I’m not lettin the CAT out the BAG!!
I”M JUST FUCKIN PISSED OFF AT THE WORLDS A SHAM!!!!!!
BABYSHAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WEL I’M KEZ TURNER!
Not much better than Trevor McDermott ey??
just as THICK N COMMON!!!!!!!
LOVE KEZ
xxx
x
<
KEZ says
FUCKIN HELL!! Can’t you remove these comments????
OOOPXXZZZZZZ!!
Sorry!!!!
Love
Kez
xx
KEZ says
I must now say I was VERY disappointed when I went to The Brixton Jamm to See peter Doherty last week! He used to be really personal, intimate and engaging. I was really looking forward to a laid back acoustic session that took its own route – mistakes, unexpected twists and a unique musician at his best. OK so I was PISSED BUT! I was DISGUSTED THAT HE CRAMMED IN 2 sets in one night to get MORE MONEY IN. People separated off with wristbands.
The Jamm is a small intimate venue and that was certainly not a small intimate gig.
There should have been a limited number of tickets off one unique night with Peter // Trevor.
I’m really put off now and its not the musician that I used to love for his imtimate performances (for example at the Tavern that night)
It seems FAME & WEALTH has made him into just another SELFISH ROCKSTAR.
PLAYING DOWN TO US FUCKIN PEASANTS!!!!
These stars are grossly overpaid and the rest of us are forced to witness there lavish lifestyles. it makes me sick.
Hes certainly not having a lousy life.
I have to sell my body so I can make my art & music and i see these stars they have it all so easy.
So Peter – why not buy a picture off me ??? Help me stop having to sell my body.
Its my misery help rescue me.
LOVE KEZ
x
Shelby says
His lyrics are genius.
There’s nothing wrong with being skinny, or a nerd for that matter.
60s clothes are amazing and so are charity shops.
And obviously he can sing.
knowitall17 says
Didn’t these two idiots burn a MILLION quid and film it as ART? If true, they have to be the most selfish, stupid, druggies of all time. They could have done a lot of good things with that money. Rock musicians, and they are barely that, are POS!!
knowitall17 says
KEZ……….
YOU’RE BEYOND RESCUE OR REDEMPTION. STFU!!