People who were famous in the ’80s thrive on knowing that, despite falling out of favour with various television and record company executives, their hardcore fanbase still love them. These fans are what stop them from rigging a hose up to the exhaust and ending this cruel life.
But what happens when those fans suddenly go AWOL? What happens when these fans decide that you can’t even dance as well as Bristol Palin who moves around the floor like a thing you’ve shot in the knees?
This is what David Hasselhoff will be asking himself today as he was the first person voted off Dancing With The Stars. It looks like we might be due another Hoff Drunk On The Floor video again.
We’re well aware that The Hoff has worked on various talent shows in The States, but really, that isn’t an indicator of how well loved you are by the public at large. That would be like assuming that the British public have grabbed Amanda Holden and Piers Morgan and clutched them to the collective bosom.
We haven’t. We have to get up early in a morning just so we can cram all the loathing in.
Hoff’s departure has still come as something of a surprise to host of Dancing With The Stars, Tom Bergeron:
“I got to tell you, of all the first people to leave, in all the seasons I’ve hosted, this was the biggest surprise to me!”
Apparently, comedian Margaret Cho was the one that should have got the chop. Mainly because she’s a terrible dancer (which saw Bergeron quipping that she looked and danced ‘like Liberace’s shower curtain’).
This doesn’t matter one jot, because it’s obvious that the whole of America hates David Hasselhoff so much that they vote for Bristol Palin, despite the fact her mother is a fucking mental. When Michael Bolton is more popular than you, you really see the dark looming clouds of depressing hanging around on the horizon.
Hasselhoff said, adding to the sense of impending death:
“We’re already wearing black for our funeral – Hoff to heaven.”
No. Honestly. He said that. If only we were making that bit up.
Jimmy Kimmel added, after the show on his own show… show show show…:
“How do you eliminate David Hasselhoff in the first week?”
“Have you people no sense of comedy? I have a show to do here,”
“I was counting on him for at least six weeks! This is Hoff-ul, just Hoff-ul.”
There you have it. America hates David Hasselhoff and wishes that KITT got his gig on the show instead (which, for the record, would be fucking brilliant).
linda says
i watched david in all his shows,thought he was great then an at danceing.hes still a good looking man with a nice body.and can at least move it. he was not stiff like some on there. you got ripped off david. id like to see kit come back along with david,that was a good show.
Mod Granny says
one comment said it all…who cares…apparently me for adding #2 but seriously I hope he has his act together … last I saw him was drunk eating a hamburger (trying too). David you have had such chances in life plus your beautiful kids….why screw it up with booze.