This week’s ups and downs.

Folded:

• Top 50 US All Stars with Idris Elba (Stringer Bell talks hip-hop in what must have been a seriously surreal few hours for The Wire fans)
• Wimbledon has finished (goodbye to the only sport in the world players fall asleep through. Still, kudos to Roger Federer and his gold lamé tracksuit)
• Best phishing scam ever (must have caught millions)
• Local gyms (full of middle aged Dorises, but at least no muscle men gazing lovingly at their own biceps)
• Spotting people on the Underground who don’t use an Oyster card (tourist – we’re going to pick your pocket now)

Creased:

• Funerals (or macabre pop concerts. Whatever)
• When Love Takes Over by David Guetta feat. Kelly Rowland (Cascada wasn’t available)
• Wimbledon has finished (but what will the BBC put on its red button now? The Royle Family Christmas Special? International Tiddlywinks? 24 Hours on the lash with Sophie Raworth?)
• Online voucher codes (‘expired’ – they’re all bloody expired)
• City gyms (even Peter Andre would feel uncomfortable around that many mirrors)