Or, at least, Coldplay read the music press and get upset by bad reviews. Which is a start.

New hecklerspray favourite The New York Times tore Coldplay’s X&Y (CDs) album apart, leaving the band’s chief librarian Chris Martin no choice but to share his tears.

"There’s no harm admitting that you’re human and these things bring you down." Martin told the New York Post "That New York Times thing, yeah, it was fucking devastating for us."

We’re sure blubby Chris actually meant ‘Devastating for sales’, though we don’t want to put words in his mouth.

Truth is Coldplay might not get so much stick if they cheered the fuck up a bit. Unless you’ve just ended a relationship, buried a love one or taken a drug overdose their music has about as much resonance as the international space program.

"The truth is it really does affect us." Martin continued "And this is the first time that we’ve responded to it. That’s why we’re having trouble knowing how to answer."

Realising he is not actually the lead singer of Christ’s second coming split four ways has hit Chris Martin harder than even we could have hoped.

Top off this with a Rolling Stone magazine review that "knocked us sideways." (Martin again) and you’ve got a heck of good way to kick off the cold mornings.

Poor old Coldplay, some might say. Some others might say ‘Write some chirpier bloody songs’.

Read More:

Chris Martin depressed by negative reviews – Ananova

[story by Chris Laverty]