Despite holding a genuine old person bus pass, smelling of wee and forgetting where he puts his slippers on a regular basis, Cliff Richard has somehow topped the charts again. No, honest.
He’s become the number one bestseller in the hotly contested ?battle of who can sell the most overpriced calendar to people you don't really like enough to buy a proper present for, but y?know, it'll do, it's almost Christmas and you want to go and get smashed on eggnog and crap homemade mulled wine? chart.
Weird, right?? You?d have thought all of his fans were dead by now.
What's even more amazing about this story is the competition he's up against. He's outselling the mighty powerhouses of JLS and Justin Bieber ? fans of whom will buy literally any old crap they bung their name on, be it condoms (JLS) or their own sweat (at least that's what the headline ?Justin Bieber releases fragrance? was referring a couple of months back).
What's more, he did all that with his shirt off, showing off his (actually rather toned and buff, really) uncovered elderly torso. I don't know whether to be disgusted or aroused. Probably both.
BBC news (yes, because he is that important) bellows:
?Sales of veteran singer Sir Cliff Richard’s calendar is beating the likes of JLS, Justin Bieber and Michael Buble, online retailer Amazon has said. The star, who stripped to the waist for one of the shots, has the biggest-selling male celebrity calendar.?
See, Amazon said it, so it must be true. Hopefully, the ?Spray will spare your eyes by not using the half naked picture from the BBC in the future, as we imagine it would be pretty embarrassing to be throwing up your lunch over your computer while having an enormous erection.
Amazingly, national treasure turned national hate figure Cheryl Cole is outselling second-placed Kylie 4 to 1 despite inflicting a haunted miniature version of herself on the nation week after week. Presumably this means that? the dartboard industry is in for a gloomy time this Christmas.
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FF says
you ‘re rubbish and your website.