Here it is, the last of our rollercoaster three-day delve into the Christmas number one betting odds for 2007, where we buckle ourselves in securely and prepare ourselves for one of the most hotly-contested Christmas number one races ever.
Oh, who are we kidding? Everyone knows who the Christmas number one is going to be – it's always the winner of X Factor. And since we knew who the winner of X Factor was right from the moment Leona performed her first song three months ago, we pretty much knew that Leona was going to be Christmas number one back in October. We're certain of it – so certain that we're going to fill up the rest of this paragraph with the word Leona only; Leona Leona Leona Leona Leona Leona Leona Leona Leona Leona.
See? But – hey – what if Leona won't be the Christmas number one? Here are the Christmas number one betting odds for Girls Aloud, Take That and, yes, Leona Lewis…
Girls Aloud: I Think We're Alone Now. Oh for the love of God. There can't be a single person on the face of the earth – apart from constantly-aroused 14-year-old boys in the midst of exploring their sexuality – that even give the slightest amount of a toss about Girls Aloud. Not even Girls Aloud, who all seem to hate each other and resent the fact that all they have to do for a living is mime a useless cover version now and then. And Girls Aloud's crack at a Christmas number one is just unforgivably lazy – it's a cover version of I Think We're Alone Now that couldn't be more squarely aimed at grunting doltish nostalgia-loving arseholes if Girls Aloud liquidised a bunch of CDs, mixed them up with some WKD and handed them out at Paedo Night at your local Jumpin' Jaks. We don't like this song, we don't like Girls Aloud and we can't wait for them to split up next year. Current Christmas Number One betting odds – 11/2
Take That: Patience – That's Take That Sponsored By ITV to you. We can't turn on our sodding TV without seeing ridiculous Gary Barlow and his three grizzled old backing singers gurning back at us these days. If Take That aren't milking their bizarre new fame with hour-long live ITV shows, they're clawing their way into the X Factor finals in the hope that some people who aren't lonely hormonally-nostalgic female recruitment consultants in their mid-twenties will buy enough copies of their boringly mature comeback single Patience to get it to Christmas Number One this year. We don't really think anyone needs to go and buy a copy of Patience – it's on the radio all the freaking time and has surely made enough money to upgrade Howard Donald to a two-storey cardbox box. For this reason alone we're guessing Take That won't be the Christmas number one this year. Current Christmas Number One betting odds – 2/5
Leona Lewis: A Moment Like This. Come on, like you didn't know that Leona was going to be Christmas number one three months ago. As the winner of this year's X Factor, Leona Lewis is guaranteed to sell a billion copies of her first single and get a Christmas number one from it. Forget that the song only got released as a CD 90 minutes ago; Forget that winners of shows like this tend to vanish completely six weeks after the release of their first single; forget that you can't really remember how the song goes despite hearing it over 10,000 times since Saturday; forget that Simon Cowell is currently preparing to punch any form of artistic integrity out of Leona Lewis's mouth and replace it with whatever gets him a new speedboat fastest – A Moment Like This by Leona Lewis is going to be Christmas number one this year and there's nothing you can do about it. Merry Christmas! Current Christmas number one betting odds – 1/25
Tomorrow – Strictly Come Dancing final betting odds!
Dan doh says
Have a look at the Christmas number one list on everyhit – The Beatles are on there a bunch of times, Frank Sinatras on there, loads of classic Christmas tunes… and a fiver says nobody will remember any of these three songs by the summer.
miracoyle says
aaagggghhhhhh omg ur all nobeds girls aloud rule
Lauren says
FS ya dick..no need for all that slabberin about Take That. They’re way more talented than ur woman Lewis