Americans are funny aren’t they? They’re just mad about their stupid national anthem. Apparently, Americans sing it 78 times a day, just so they can feel more American! You would have thought that, by virtue of the fact that they’re American, they wouldn’t need to remind themselves so frequently.
And one of the most notable national anthems is the one crooned by famous people before the Superbowl, where everyone in the US swells with pride and everyone else sniggers at them behind their backs.
This year, Christina Aguilera has been chosen to sing The Star Spangled Banner and given the task of trying her best to not laugh while singing “And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the night that our flag was still there” while America does its best to get involved in every single war on Earth.
So yeah. The Superbowl, as most Americans will know, will be in Texas on February 6th and millions of people around the world will tune in just to see if 2011will be the year they finally understand what the fuss about American Football is all about. Just like last year. And the year before that. And so on.
Of course, this isn’t the first time that Aguilera has been involved with a Superbowl. She of course performed during the much coveted halftime show during the 2000 Superbowl in Atlanta.
Aguilera says of the opportunity:
“I have been performing the Anthem since I was seven years old and I must say the Super Bowl is a dream come true”
“I am really excited to be part of such an iconic event.”
Hands up if you read that as ‘ironic event’. Just us? Oh well.
Aguilera now joins a pantheon of stars who have performed the national anthem before, including Diana Ross, Neil Diamond, Mariah Carey, Billy Joel and Beyonce. We can only hope Christina nails it like Rosanne did at some event or other in 1990, as opposed to carting out the histrionics and making the whole tedious thing last for what seems like an age.
The halftime show will, of course, feature the Status Quo of pop – The Black Eyed Peas.
As ever, they’ll invade the pitch as the American Tossball players have a break which seems to last an hour while fans run onto the pitch. Naturally, with the Black Eyed Peas playing, that halftime break could feel a helluva lot longer. Lets just hope they don’t sing “let’s get retarded” because, y’know, that’s a really horrible thing to say in a song.
They’ve got to live up to drab performances from the likes of U2, Bruce Springsteen and The Who.
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Hasani Lea says
I could care less that you’re not a fan of the anthem, but I think it would be a little more professonial if you stated the fact and then added your dumb ass opinion about how you feel about us Americans love our anthems and Super Bowl so much at the end of your article. Thanks!
T-Cake says
Hasani got the ol’ teeth out in that gigantic run-on sentence. Anyhow, I think everyone has to have a little pride in their anthem just for their country’s sake. I mean, it’s not like any Canadians walk around snapping their fingers to “O Canada.” At least I hope not. On a separate note, I only tune in to the Super Bowl to watch a few commercials and see if the half-time show is worth a damn. The Who wasn’t that bad, considering the average age of their members is 92.
Tom J says
Christina Aguilera? What the hell is this, the nineties?
gilbert wham says
It’s ‘couldn’t care less’, not that the rest of your paragraph made any sense.
Lauren says
Her first single came out in the LATE nineties (1998 to be exact), and two very successful albums came out in 2002 (Stripped… you know, the one that Beautiful is on. Her most successful song ever) and 2006 (in which her Back to Basics tour sold out in every single venue in the world). Not to mention that she is, without a doubt, one of the top 10 most vocally talented women in the world. So shut up.
chuck says
Your a douche! America is the bomb, Christina Aguilera is the bomb, and So is the super bowl. Your just jealous cause america is Sh*ttin on your life! You guys can say what you want about us Americans, but ALL of you other countries look to us for not only guidance and how to act, but also you guys hella wish you could be us. keep talkin your Sh*t America is the greatest country in the World! and we are very proud of our national anthem!
Joemomma says
How’s that sub-prime mortgage working out for you?
gilbert wham says
Well played, sir.
danno says
Hey Chuck, you are delusional. You rape the world. You listen and believe the lies your media and government tell you. Christina Aguilera sucks as much as America does. Plastic crap that everyone laughs at and no one is envious of except poor misguided idiots.