Christie Brinkley has got divorced so many times that you'd expect her to see them through with the grim dead-eyed precision of an abattoir worker taking out livestock.
Shows what we know, huh? In fact, Christie Brinkley has turned up at the courthouse on the first day of her divorce trial looking so weepy and emotionally frazzled that we were half expecting her to literally tear her own heart out of her chest as a graphic demonstration of what her cheating husband did to her.
Christie Brinkley was so upset, she says, because she really didn't want her divorce to reach a courtroom. We can see her point – it must be galling to have to go through a painful experience like a divorce in public. Especially when, like Christie Brinkley, you're the one who doggedly stipulated that the trial had to be conducted in public in the first place. We're welling up just thinking about it.
As a supermodel, Christie Brinkley knows what she wants and what she doesn't want from her husbands. What she wants is for her man to write hit pop songs about how much more incredibly beautiful she is to other people than he could ever be. What she very specifically doesn't want is for her man to meet a teenager in a toyshop and have it off with her a bunch of times.
Peter Cook must have missed that nugget of insight, because that's precisely what ended their marriage. But it's not all bad, because Christie Brinkley has become so furiously embittered by Cook's shenanigans that she's decided to divorce him in full view of the public, which means we'll all have plenty of chances to hear any number of stories about a middle-aged man having sex with a girl easily young to be his daughter. All of us. That's fun and not creepy at all.
And that's where we are today. The Christie Brinkley/ Peter Cook divorce kicked off not so long ago, and Brinkley is going to make absolutely sure that Cook gets nailed. She's already lined up 44 different witnesses to spell out what a cheating shit he is, but just to reinforce that point, Christie Brinkley arrived at the courthouse looking as if she could burst into tears at any moment, as the New York Daily News reports:
Supermodel Christie Brinkley was on the verge of tears as she arrived for the first day of her divorce trial Wednesday morning. Wearing a white shirt and khaki skirt, she clutched her lawyer's arm for support and nearly broke down as she addressed the media outside the courthouse in Central Islip, L.I. "I'd hoped with all my heart we could have settled this out of court," she said.
Yes, it's understandable that Christie Brinkley was so upset, but everyone has their own way of dealing with heartbreak. Some throw themselves into work, others turn to drink – Christie Brinkley's method just happens to involve lining up 44 different people and having each them explain very slowly what a dreadful man Peter Cook again and again is before the media so that the news will eventually trickle back, possibly through vicious-minded schoolyard taunts, to their two children. It's a perfectly natural reaction.
Anyway, it's fortunate that Christie Brinkley's fit of almost-tears didn't last too long, because that would have delayed the opening arguments in the divorce trial. And they need to get out of the way as quickly as possible, because the first witness Christie's calling is Diana Bianchi, the very girl who slept with Peter Cook and knackered his marriage. Chances are you'll be hearing about that tomorrow.
But for now we should just salute the fiendish emotional manipulation of Christie Brinkley, a woman who seems determined to make Peter Cook wish he'd never set foot in that flipping toyshop in the first place.
Still, it could be worse – Peter Cook could have married Naomi Campbell. God knows how many mobile phones he'd be prising out of his face if he'd tried any of that nonsense with her.