Christian Bloke Doesn’t Like ‘Blasphemous’ BBC

Jesus fucking Christ!

In the name of the titting Father, this is some surprising news. More surprising, in fact, than that time Christ, Buddha and Muhammed got rip-snorted on PCP and went cruising for gay prostitutes in the Tower Of Babel car park. And certainly a damn sight more shocking that the mythical 'eighth day', during which - following a rest on Sunday - God sparked up a massive joint and had a big celestial wank over some girls from Hollyoaks.

Apparently a Christian activist has still not forgiven the BBC for screening the controversial Jerry Springer: The Opera a couple of years back - a production which featured Jesus dancing around in a nappy. He's now seeking to use blasphemy laws to prosecute the executive responsible for screening it. Well, blow us down with one of Allah's rancid farts.

Jerry Springer: The Opera? It had its flaws, sure, but it was certainly interesting. Okay, okay - not quite as interesting as that time Jesus was let down from the cross for half-an-hour to perform air guitar to his favourite Cradle Of Filth records. And definitely, definitely, not as interesting as that time Muhammed thrust his fist into the anus of a pig, pulled out the innards and then began to devour them, shouting "mmm, mmm, pork is just yummy" in a voice that many spectators likened to Julian Clary.

The case is being brought by Christian Voice member Stephen Green, whose lawyer Michael Gledhill reckons that:

  "Jerry Springer - The Opera" would never have been staged or aired in Britain had it been a satire about Islam, not Christianity. No theatre would have produced it. Neither would the BBC have broadcast it.'

By the fizzing piss of Buddha - is he right? Not according to civil liberties group Liberty, who claim that:

"These blasphemy laws should be shelved in dusty archives, not used as a tool to bring mischievous prosecutions against the arts."

We just don't know. Blasphemy has always been a confusing matter for hecklerspray. Believe it or not, we even sometimes attract complaints about it. True, not as many complaints as that time Allah and God drove a car through the underpass where Diana died, throwing buckets of deity-sick out of the window and yelling "the people's princess was a hooker." And nowhere near as many complaints as that time Jesus returned to earth in a beam of light, only to take a big poo in a vicar's hat and then laugh as he fed it to some blind kittens.

So. You know. We're probably not the best people to approach on the matter.

Incidentally - while religious people are reporting to be getting increasingly riled by the situation - any grown-ups in the vicinity were unavailable for comment.