In the name of the titting Father, this is some surprising news. More surprising, in fact, than that time Christ, Buddha and Muhammed got rip-snorted on PCP and went cruising for gay prostitutes in the Tower Of Babel car park. And certainly a damn sight more shocking that the mythical 'eighth day', during which – following a rest on Sunday – God sparked up a massive joint and had a big celestial wank over some girls from Hollyoaks.
Apparently a Christian activist has still not forgiven the BBC for screening the controversial Jerry Springer: The Opera a couple of years back – a production which featured Jesus dancing around in a nappy. He's now seeking to use blasphemy laws to prosecute the executive responsible for screening it. Well, blow us down with one of Allah's rancid farts.
Jerry Springer: The Opera? It had its flaws, sure, but it was certainly interesting. Okay, okay – not quite as interesting as that time Jesus was let down from the cross for half-an-hour to perform air guitar to his favourite Cradle Of Filth records. And definitely, definitely, not as interesting as that time Muhammed thrust his fist into the anus of a pig, pulled out the innards and then began to devour them, shouting "mmm, mmm, pork is just yummy" in a voice that many spectators likened to Julian Clary.
The case is being brought by Christian Voice member Stephen Green, whose lawyer Michael Gledhill reckons that:
"Jerry Springer – The Opera" would never have been staged or aired in Britain had it been a satire about Islam, not Christianity. No theatre would have produced it. Neither would the BBC have broadcast it.'
By the fizzing piss of Buddha – is he right? Not according to civil liberties group Liberty, who claim that:
"These blasphemy laws should be shelved in dusty archives, not used as a tool to bring mischievous prosecutions against the arts."
We just don't know. Blasphemy has always been a confusing matter for hecklerspray. Believe it or not, we even sometimes attract complaints about it. True, not as many complaints as that time Allah and God drove a car through the underpass where Diana died, throwing buckets of deity-sick out of the window and yelling "the people's princess was a hooker." And nowhere near as many complaints as that time Jesus returned to earth in a beam of light, only to take a big poo in a vicar's hat and then laugh as he fed it to some blind kittens.
So. You know. We're probably not the best people to approach on the matter.
Incidentally – while religious people are reporting to be getting increasingly riled by the situation – any grown-ups in the vicinity were unavailable for comment.
Adam Gade says
You guys still have “blasphemy” laws over there? That sounds medieval.
And I personally had Jesus pegged as a lover of Soft Rock, not stuff like Cradle of Filth.