In the UK, the only real battle we have is between ?Team Peter? and ?Team Katie.? Whilst they're both like persistant scabs who scar the celebrity landscape, people are genuinely torn between who they prefer. Do you go for the ex-tit model or a bloke who is so fame hungry, that he went back into the “I'm A Celebrity” Jungle of Obscurity?
Over in America, there are loads of couples who frequently split up once they've bagged the cash for the wedding tie-in photos or TV special. Ain?t that right Kim Kardashian? Occasionally though, a celeb breakup can be real and quite literally messy as Rihanna found out when human Muppet impersonator Chris Brown splattered her pretty face across the inside of his car with his fists.
Only idiotic ?Team Breezy? fans are willing to ignore his bout of domestic violence and his further dickish acts of aggressive behaviour, instead claiming that the Crown Prince of Second Chances deserved a 312th chance. Restraining orders and court visits have passed and lifetime damage has have been done. we're sure Rihanna will be thrilled to know that Chris Brown will be moving in down the street.
As we know all too well, Chris Brown is one of those rapper types. You know the sort, they parade around wearing clothes that are five sizes too big for them, parade around in music videos with their “bitches”, “hoes” and other gardening equipment all whilse wearing an assortment of bling that looks like tin foil concealing delicious chocolate underneath.
Essentially, rappers like everything on a grand scale. The house he bought would turn Grand Designs presenter Kevin McCloud giddy. We’re informed that:
?Brown purchased the glass-walled, three-bedroom, three-bathroom house for $1,550,000, getting a deal on the home that had been listed at $2,669,000 in 2009. The bachelor pad, designed by Jay Vanos, makes use of chrome and natural light and has an elevator from the garage to the main house.?
It's the new neighbours of Chris Brown?s that we feel sorry for. Imagine living next door to someone who has a bedroom with a glass wall. The singer isn't shy on getting his shrivelled up Frankfurter of a penis out, as photos on the internet disturbingly prove. But why is he moving in the first place? Is it out of spite to get back at Rihanna? No, it seems that buck tooth Brown has a problem with the disabled where he currently resides:
?Brown is selling his current West Hollywood home due to parking issues, as all the spots near his home were allocated as handicapped spots and the singer accrued thousands of dollars in parking tickets during his time living in the home.?
God damn those pesky disabled types who won't let Chris Brown shave thirty seconds off his journey home. we're just happy that he hasn't started punching any of his handicapped neighbours to see if they're telling the truth, or if they're just benefit cheats. But for those out there who may be worried about poor Rihanna having to live close to her abuser, fear not, it probably won't be for long. A letting agent blabbed to someone
?Rihanna has already put her Beverly Crest property on the market for a cool $4.5 million.?
Rihanna better move quick mind, with Chris Brown arriving, prices in the neighbourhood will quickly plummet.
Tamera says
Angry much? No one is saying he didn’t do anything wrong so there no need to add fuel to the fire and say he might have punched handicapped neighbours. Try to keep it tasteful.
Tone says
WE know what Chris did was wrong, but you’re just being an idiot by putting “far out of punching range.” Let the man live his life and stop being a tool. We get it, he’s wrong. But some of that stuff you added in that article was just plain stupid and unnecessary. What are you, a 12 year old boy getting revenge on celebrities? lol, good luck getting on with your life, and I can only pray you don’t make any mistakes in your lifetime.
angela says
I honestly do no mean any harm, but in my opinion, you are an ignorant ignoranmus. You honestly do not need to be a writer, be it free lance or what. YOUR WORK ACTUALLY STINKS. GO BACK TO SCHOOL BUD, AND SWITCH CAREERS.
Danielle says
I would hardly call them neighbours!! Hes livin fuckin miles away! And those handicap spaces were HIS! If u care to listen to the reports! Those spaces where assigned to him when he moved in! U might wanna get ur facts right before u start rights stupid articles! Oh and team breezy are not idiots! We just let the talent speak for its self! And we believe in 2nd chances unlike u and others that just LOVE living in the past! Yous lot are the idiots
Sharon says
You make a whole article about what went down with chris and rihanna?
Sorry dude,but real journalists got on that and OVER that a long time ago. And Rihanna is moving out of her home because of the construction,so do your backround checks before you post some vile and complete shit about 2 human beings that you don’t know personally. And ‘team breezy’ have NEVER once denied what chris did. They all know what he did was cowardly and disgusting. And point out your own mistakes,before pointing out someone else’s.
Yours sincerly,
EVERYONE!
muzicholic2 says
This article is a classic example of today’s journalism. HATE = HITS. Truth is an UGLY word, and research is a thing of the past. Rihanna has asked repeatedly that the media allow her and Chris to move on. She follows him on Twitter and unfollows people who bash him. Rihanna has also been vocal about journalists who attack Chris Brown….I’m sure Matthew Laidlow remembers what she told fellow journalist Sandra Rose……”My bad, I thought he beat your a## as UPSET as you are….”. As mad as it makes you, this young man owns 3 homes all worth over 1 million dollars. So, you can just stop your typing frenzy, because at the end of the day….Chris Brown is #WINNING. And you my friend are on the internet WHINING!!!!!
Chris' gal says
U dnt hv 2 shw us hw much u hate chris, n u dn hv 2 write hz articlez f he is dickish, plz gt a lyf n leave hm alone. I wud rate ur article 1% 4 being silly. Besides he can do wat he fils lyk. Oh gawd! Ad luv 2 b in his glassy bedroom.Teambreezy 4eva.
Mangosta says
This is either the ranting of an illiterate baboon with foetal alcohol syndrome or a brilliant satire on Brown’s bleating, idiot fanbase.
John says
I knew this was gonna be a hate article by the sentence of “Just out of punching range”. Grow the fuck up. How long ago was the altercation? Over 2 years ago. Even Rihanna, the victim, has forgiven him. How do I know this? Oh I don’t know, maybe the tonnes of news articles with CONFIRMATION that the restraining order had been lifted and he is allowed to stand next to her. He hates himself for what he did. He knows hes sorry. He knows what he did wrong. He admits it. He wants people to forget thats why he let off steam at that interview. Grow up.
Monica says
And to add to everyone else ‘s comments…Rihanna put her house on the market well before Chris bought his house. She is selling because the house leaks whenever it rains. She is suing all involved in the transactions since this a latent defect and it was not disclosed to her prior to purchasing the house. It has nothing to do with Chris and FYI she doesn’t even live there anymore since the house is a hazard. His house is eight whole miles from hers that is not exactly walking distance to borrow a cup of sugar. I love how the media and stupid blogs like this perpetuate lies and mis- information. I thought the first rule of journalism is “get your facts right”. This is pure trash!
yeah right says
Let’s face the facts kids, it has been proven more than once that Chris “left hook” Brown has a bad temper, has been stalking Rhianna, and just can’t seem to get his act together. Whatever excuse Rhianna fed the press the real reason is her agent informed her that Chris was moving closer to her and she bailed out. The boy is a menace and disturbed. He should have been locked up and stayed locked up.
Rebecca says
A menace and just how is that? Locked up for making a mistake as a 19 year old. I wonder if Beyonce feel as though Jay-Z should have been locked up at the age of 30 for stabbing the record executive or for selling drugs to kids or better yet for shooting his own brother for stealing his jewelry. I guess not because if his felony conviction hadn’t been knocked down to misdemeanor lack of corporation from the victim, paying him anywhere from $500,00- 1million to not show up in court, she wouldn’t be Mrs. Shawn Carter. ( Jay-Z Pleads Guilty To Stabbing, Faces Three Years’ Probation
Rapper faces up to three years’ probation for 1999 assault on producer Lance ‘Un’ Rivera.) So I guess some people get a pass for their past… but, Chris Brown who was much younger than Mr.Carter who is now everyone’s favorite son must be talked about and hated on daily for his mistake. And as for a temper…. because he chooses to speak back when moron’s talk about him, that makes him have a temper. Stalking Rihanna and you know this because… what… you’re stalking her? She didn’t have to feed the press anything, she pretty vocal about everything else, every article in all the magazines she been featured in she don’t have a problem speaking on him. I can think of a lot of people who should be locked up for doing far more than what he did.