On paper, Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow have it all – critical acclaim, enormous wealth, a young baby (and another one on the way) and a big house stuffed full of spooky ghosts.

Not that Chris and Gwyneth want a great big house rammed with ghosts, though. In fact, Gwyneth Paltrow is so fed up of being haunted all the time, it’s being reported that she’s doing the only thing she possibly can – she’s having the house exorcised by a bunch of Kabbalah ghostbusters.

Famously, Gwyneth Paltrow once criticised Britain
for all the crap that goes on here. Paltrow (DVDs) was reported as saying that
Britain is dirty and the customer service stinks. And now she’s got the
gall to complain about the standards of ghosts in this country, too.

In
America they have nice ghosts like Slimer and Casper and Geena Davis
out of Beetlejuice, but the ghosts that occupy the £3.5 million Belsize
Park mansion that Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin own do nothing
expect for give off a bunch of "bad energy" all the time.

Gwyneth Paltrow is reportedly having a "turbulent" second pregnancy
- something which she swears blind is the work of pesky ghosts haunting
her house with all their bad energy. And Gwyneth only wants good
energy when her new baby is born, so she apparently turned to her
friend – noted paranormal expert and part-time rubbish filmstar
Madonna – who suggested that a Kabbalah exorcism take place.

Apparently, the ten exorcising Kabbalah ghostbusters will burst into
the mansion, read a few psalms and then blow a ram’s horn until the
ghosts all get a bit bored and bugger off somewhere nicer.

Read more:

Gwyneth’s Haunted House – Channel 4 News

[story by Stuart Heritage]