Charlton Heston R.I.P
April 6th, 2008 at 12:15 by Paul Sorrenti
Legendary actor Charlton Heston has died, aged 84.
The Oscar-winning actor had been suffering from Alzheimer’s disease. A family spokesman said he passed away on Saturday night at his home in Beverley Hills, California.
During his career, the actor, famed for his muscular build and booming baritone voice, won an Oscar for his role In Ben Hur, let rip at a bunch of monkeys for destroying the Statue of Liberty ‘You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!’.
He raised a rod over his head as Moses in The Ten Commandments and parted the Red Sea, and was seen controversially mimicking the Moses-pose in Michael Moore’s Bowling For Colombine, this time as President of the NRA, challenging any detractors of his to pry the rifle “from my cold, dead hands”.
Charlton’s off-screen career was equally as colourful. As well as becoming President of the NRA in the 1990s, between 1965-1971 he was president of the Screen Actors Guild. He also spent time as the chairman of the American Film Institute. He used his high-profile as a Civil Rights activist in the 1950s and 1960s, and in 1993 he won the Presidential Medal of Freedom.
Charlton Heston, rest in piece.
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April 6th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
A letter of condolence to the family of Charlton Heston, 4/5/2008
On behalf of the American people and others from other countries, we wish to extend our deepest condolences to the family, of Charlton (Chuck) Heston for their loss. Chuck will be missed by so many of us. He was a loving father, a loyal friend, a statesman and a authentic actor. Heaven now has what we lost, and may God bless the family, especially his loving wife for so many wonderful years of love.
America has given another one of its “Crown Jewels” to God and his name is Charlton Heston!
NOVUS ORDO SECLORUM
Judah Ben-Hur
Ambassador
The American Republic
Diplomatic Mission: North America
April 7th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Quick, somebody get his gun!
April 7th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Didn’t he stipulate that his hands have to be cold as well as dead before we can take it? Because if that’s the case we might have to wait another day or so. It’s what he would have wanted.
April 7th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Why is it that when some famous person dies we’re all supposed to give a shit? For the most part I really don’t care what happens to celebrities, apart from it being fodder for my endless wit, and in the case of some of those assholes, Herr Heston included, I’m positively thrilled with their death. I’m ecstatic. I’m going to throw a “Charlton Heston is dead and I’m happy about it” party.
I’ll serve a drink of my own invention called the “Soylent Green”.
April 7th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
What’s it made of?
April 7th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
Absinthe and creme de menthe.
Most people beg for some human flesh after just one.
April 7th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
Isn’t Soylent Green that fart mark you get in your underwear from eating too many avocados?