Charlotte Church – whom many of you will recognise as a woman who used to be famous – has every reason to celebrate today.
She’s just had a baby. According to reports, Charlotte Church and her boyfriend Gavin Henson have just welcomed their second child, a baby boy, into the world.
Although the baby hasn’t been named yet, reports are suggesting that he’s just like Charlotte Church. Apparently he screams a lot, often seems bewildered, constantly grasps at anything that comes close to him and has a sense of humour that seems to primarily revolve around pooing uncontrollably into his own underwear.
Hey everyone, remember Charlotte Church? Of course you do – she was the little girl with the voice of an angel and the scary red eyes of a habitual alcoholic of no fixed address. You remember – one minute she was performing alongside Pavarotti and the next minute she was stumbling around Cardiff at 3am with her skirt tucked into her knickers trying to get off with the front window of Snappy Snaps.
That was all a long time ago, though. Charlotte Church is no longer the innocent young operatic toddler or the permanently-drunk teenage rebel who once released an album that we’re still convinced was about wanking. Now, you see, Charlotte Church is a mother.
The last interesting thing to happen to Charlotte Church was when she gave birth to a girl in 2007. After that Charlotte Church kind of disappeared from view. Rumour had it that Charlotte Church had decided to live a hermetic life completely off-grid, with both her heat and light requirements being provided by the ridiculous orange skin of her rugby-playing boyfriend Gavin Henson.
But now Charlotte Church is back! She’s back to tell us that, um, she’s had another baby. BBC News reports:
The baby arrived just after midnight and weighed 7lb 5oz. Both mother, 22, and son are said to be “doing just fine”, according to her website. A message was posted on the singer’s website, just before 1430 GMT, saying: “Charlotte has literally just this minute phoned us to let us know that she gave birth to a little boy today. He was born just after midnight at her and Gavin’s home with Gavin in attendance at the birth.”
It’s an exciting time, for sure. We can’t wait to hear more details about Charlotte Church’s new baby boy. Is he like his father in the way that he looks a bit radioactive and it takes him twelve full hours to do his hair properly, or is he like his mother in that he’s been signed to front a series of unfunny television commercials for Virgin Travel? It’s so exciting!
Although not as exciting as the news that Charlotte Church wants six babies in total. Given that she’s averaging about 16 months between babies at the moment, that sort of means that Charlotte Church won’t have enough time to be properly newsworthy until the middle of 2013, hopefully by which time we’ll have been incapacitated by a coronary or something else that means we won’t have to write about her any more.