Remember when Charlie Sheen was on drugs, violent and knocking on death’s door all the time? Those were fun days. Sadly, Sheen realised he had shaky stock and decided to wise-up and knuckle down to make some fast dollar.
And everyone else got really bored.
Yet, many had already stumped up cash for his “My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option Tour”, half aware that the whole debacle wouldn’t be the spectacular train-wreck they’d hoped for initially, rather, just plain irritating.
As such, he went about losing massively in Detroit (a fine place where fools aren’t suffered gladly) and failed to wow audiences in Chicago, leaving a load of ticket scalpers with back pockets filled with tickets that they weren’t going to shift.
There is only one thing for it – flog them for next to nothing.
Initially, tickets for Sheen’s shows where going for an average of $150, but now, they’re going for a paltry$60.
And what does Team Sheen have to say about it all?
“Got nothing to do with us”
Nope. The terrible reviews and heckles have nothing to do with the tawdry penny peep show that is Charlie Sheen and his fantastic troupe of dribbling sycophants.
For the first time, Sheen is showing some vulnerability (or, ‘losing’ in his world) noting that the jeers of Detroit did get to him, leaving him to consider scrapping the whole tour.
“There was a moment on the bus when it was like, we can just keep going, we can drive home”
“We talked about it on the bus coming back. Then when I got back to the hotel and I wrote, we started writing, just to get some thoughts out, some feelings out, just some stuff that would be interesting, just stories, you know, themes, whatever, just bullet points.”
America. Get your heckle on. Defeat IS an option. Let’s get this bugger back on drugs and fun again!
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS!
Tom J says
It’s a shame he couldn’t even pretend to be witty since he is supposedly an actor. But it’s not all lost, he just needs to tune the show to his own special skills: critiquing porn with an unfathomable quantity of class A drugs. If the entire show consisted of free coke and a two hour commentary on the latest installment of “Acrobuttic Gymnasties” it would be a deserving smash hit.