Now that the Celebrity Big Brother Poppadomgate has blown over and nobody has attacked anyone else in a blind fit of racist fury and we've realised that Jade Goody possibly isn't the greatest threat to our society, we can get on with business as usual.
And that Celebrity Big Brother business as usual means nominations. The Celebrity Big Brother housemates all nominated each other for eviction yesterday afternoon – but we don't know who's up for the chop yet. And nor does anyone else. And, since literally the most exciting thing to happen in the Celebrity Big Brother house lately has been a piss-poor formation dance to a lousy Scissors Sisters song, we don't even have any Celebrity Big Brother nomination hints to go on either.
So here's what we're going to do – we're going to make an educated guess about the four Celebrity Big Brother housemates we think will be up for eviction this week and give you their betting odds to win. Clear? And then tomorrow, when we've been proved completely wrong, we'll be all shamefaced and begging for forgiveness like that cashier did at the supermarket before you beat her unconcious with a bag of dog biscuits.
Here are the Celebrity Big Brother betting odds to win for our possible evictees – Dirk Benedict, Cleo Rocos, Jo O'Meara and Danielle Lloyd – with help from Paddy Power…
Dirk Benedict – We're so certain that Dirk Benedict will be up for Celebrity Big Brother eviction today that we're willing to do all of tomorrow's blogging in a silly hat if he isn't. Because Dirk Benedict, make no mistake, is the new Shilpa Shetty. Thanks to Dirk smoking cigars indoors and rejecting the advances of a middle-aged woman in a shit wig he's Celebrity Big Brother enemy number one. There's a handful of housemates who are guaranteed to have nominated Dirk, but even though he's a grumpy old woman-hating scallywag who obviously resents every single second he's forced to stay in the Celebrity Big Brother house, Dirk Benedict isn't going anywhere because he's Mr T's mate and the public bastard well loves him. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 12/1
Cleo Rocos – If Dirk Benedict is the new Shilpa then Cleo Rocos is the new Jade Goody, only with mild sexual assault instead of blast furnace racism. After Jade left Celebrity Big Brother, she abandoned her giggling racist sidekicks without a leader to stand behind and snigger, and Cleo manfully stepped up. After her slight attraction to Dirk manifested itself in Cleo dressing up as a desperately unfunny cockney and lurching at his cock like a grizzly bear trying to catch salmon, Dirk's displeasure of Cleo turned to outright hatred. That's when Cleo turned into a bitter old nutjob, recruited Jo and Danielle to her brand new Celebrity Big Brother Anti-Dirk League and her Celebrity Big Brother betting odds instantly turned to ashes. Chances are the more aware housemates will have nominated Cleo, but her gang of evil girl pals might stop her from being up for Celebrity Big Brother eviction. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 14/1
Danielle Lloyd – Channel 4 is probably desperate that all of last week's racist flap will blow over and this series of Celebrity Big Brother will end on a peaceful note, but that's hardly likely so long as Danielle Lloyd is still a housemate. Without question Danielle Lloyd was responsible for the most racist remarks against Shilpa Shetty – she was so racist, in fact, that her beloved Teddy Sheringham is thought to have dumped her – and now she's started to victimise Dirk Benedict under Cleo's rule too. If Danielle isn't masking her offensive remarks with vague references to how "young and naive" she is then she's leaping about the Celebrity Big Brother house squealing at the top of voice just in case anybody has been rude enough to ignore her for a millisecond. Danielle Lloyd must be evicted from Celebrity Big Brother, if only because that impression she did of herself in the Make Big Brother Laugh task made us want to slap her tits off. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 80/1
Jo O'Meara – If we're honest with you, we can't see Jo O'Meara getting too many Celebrity Big Brother nominations, because the majority of her fellow housemates seem to think that young Jo is a stand-up girl without a single character flaw. Outside of the Celebrity Big Brother house, though, people are genuinely salivating in anticipation of the hostile reaction that the big-faced racist will get upon her eviction. Even though Jo's target of abuse has shifted from Shilpa to Dirk – and nobody's going to print newspapers with 'JO CALLS DIRK A BIT ANNOYING' on the front cover – her constantly victimising behaviour has still been nothing less than completely shitty without fail. If Jo O'Meara somehow manages to get enough nominations to be up for Celebrity Big Brother eviction, the public will overwhelmingly vote her out. But that's a big if… Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 100/1
Tomorrow – were we right? Probably twatting not, but we'll find out in a few hours, won't we? But if that's too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Celebrity Big Brother betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.
Pedro says
Spot on – there’s the two who’ll most likely be nominated and the two who everyone wants to see nominated, evicted, thrown in a dustman’s lorry and driven off a cliff. As annoying as Cleo is, the whole world wants to see Danielle get evicted so she can start crying about Teddy leaving her. Are you with me?
mike macri says
How come there has been no talk of the New Dirk Benedict film Recon 7 Down ???
Arvakyr says
The movie is currently finishing up some last minute details/scenes/sound/CGI etc.,in England…Should be released in fall ’07.
It’s looking very good !
bart says
Yahoo Dirk Benedicts new film Recon 7 Down is out on amazon.com