Oh the British public, you can be massive idiots sometimes; it's the most boring Celebrity Big Brother in years and you go and evict Jackiey Budden – the only housemate stopping Celebrity Big Brother from sliding into a terminal coma – first.
Last night Jackiey Budden was the first housemate to be conventionally evicted from Celebrity Big Brother. Well, we say conventional; we mean Jackiey didn't quit Celebrity Big Brother by leaping over a wall or screaming "SERVANTS! SERVANTS!" until she'd alienated everyone. In fact, Jackiey Budden's Celebrity Big Brother eviction wasn't all that conventional at all – she wasn't told that the public had been voting on her, she didn't get to say goodbye to anyone in the house and she left the Celebrity Big Brother house barefoot, drunk on two bottles of champagne and with a back covered in carpet burns and Savlon.
So now that Jackiey Budden has been evicted from Celebrity Big Brother, who the hell is going to win it? Here are the latest Celebrity Big Brother betting odds to win – for Jack Tweed, Carol Malone, Leo Sayer, Jermaine Jackson and Ian Watkins – with help from Paddy Power…
Jack Tweed – Here's a joke. What's the difference between Jack Tweed and Kim Cattrall in the movie Mannequin? Kim Cattrall would occasionally come to life and fuck a bloke. OK, that's not so much a joke as a crudely immature observation, but you get the drift. On Tuesday night Jack's time on Celebrity Big Brother reached dizzying new levels of excitement – he put on a dress. And sort of awkwardly stood around for a bit. In all honesty, we're starting to find Jack Tweed's drastic inability to do anything in the Celebrity Big Brother frighteningly amusing – at times you can actually see his face twitch as he processes clunking great complex thoughts through his mind. Thoughts like "Who are you?" and "Wasn't I just eating a sandwich?" Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 66/1
Carol Malone – Even though we've eaten pistachio nuts more famous than Carol Malone, we think we might have been a little hard on her last time we wrote about her – she's actually not doing a bad job in the Celebrity Big Brother house. Years of journalism have left Carol Malone with sharp instincts about people, a refreshing – but not grating – no-nonsense personality and a skin that's tougher than leather. And – having seen her face – we mean that literally as well as metaphorically. Judging by her entrance into Celebrity Big Brother a week ago, we wanted to dislike Carol Malone. We couldn't give a soggy fart either way about her, but we don't dislike her. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 50/1
Leo Sayer – Leo Sayer being a part of Celebrity Big Brother has served a vital function; it's reminded us why we stopped Leo Sayer from being famous 25 years ago. Everything about Leo Sayer makes us want to storm into the Celebrity Big Brother and do a dirty protest all over his bed until our bum explodes. Leo Sayer thinks he deserves special treatment because he was slightly famous once, he wanted to wank into Danielle's coat, he doesn't listen to a single thing anyone says, he keeps talking about his singing career in the present tense, he compared Celebrity Big Brother – essentially a televised flat-share – to Abu Gharib and he's got a stupid haircut. But if that's not enough to convince you of Leo Sayer's innate twattery, here's a genuine Sayer line from Tuesday night: "I'm the only person in the house that knows I'm getting a good reaction out there." Usually the rule is to keep the annoying Celebrity Big Brother housemates in for as long as you can, but we'd happily get rid of Leo Sayer now because we know how upset he'd be. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 20/1
Jermaine Jackson – Several viewers have apparently complained to Channel Four because Jermaine Jackson's five daily Muslim prayer sessions haven't been shown on Celebrity Big Brother. And this upsets us too, if only because praying constitutes actually doing stuff, and we need convincing that Jermaine Jackson does stuff from time to time, frankly, instead of sitting around disapprovingly and occasionally saying "no, that was Michael, not me." Jermaine seems to be a pleasant enough presence in the Celebrity Big Brother house – even seeming to sincerely get on with Jade at one point yesterday – but Celebrity Big Brother is now a week old! We don't want pleasantries, we want screaming and crying and tension. Something tells us you couldn't make Jermaine Jackson angry if you put him in a locked greenhouse with a giant wasp. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 20/1
Ian Watkins – hecklerspray has recently decided to come out. Not that we're gay or anything, but we've just seen what an easy ride Ian Watkins has been getting inside the Celebrity Big Brother house since he came out and we want in too. Since he's not as heterosexually male as Dirk and Leo he doesn't have to sit around listening to Leo yammering on about himself in the third person all the time; and any time he wants he can get in bed with a girl without fear of being sprayed in the eyes with mace or reported to the police or any of the other outcomes we've got used to over the last year or so. That aside, though, what does Ian actually do? We're sure he'll call himself a calming force on the Celebrity Big Brother housemates or something, but that's the last thing we need! Has anyone got Pete Burns' phone number? We're going to get him choppered into the house. Current Celebrity Big Brother betting odds – 16/1
Tomorrow – the Celebrity Big Brother betting odds for all the other housemates! Hooray! But if that's too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Celebrity Big Brother betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.
Toxic says
What? Jackiey was terrible, and everyone else is terribly nice. I know which one I’d rather see on CBB. I have a mate with a helicopter – we HAVE to get Pete Burns back in there to save the show
Chelsea Bunting says
i think you should not have Evicted jackiey from big brother
shaun says
She is a pig ignorant faul mouthed piece of white trash…..But she is very rich!!. Good luck to her.