No Amount Of Camouflage Can Hide Honey Boo Boo’s Family

honeybooboo and mama juneGrab your cousin-wife and fry up some squirrel because June ‘Mama’ Shannon and Mike ‘Sugar Bear’ Thompson –  rural Georgia’s answer to Brangelina - got hitched this weekend in all their camouflaged glory. 

It’s every bit as white trash as you’re imagining it. The ‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo’ power couple met in an internet chat room nine years ago (imagine that episode of Catfish) and have reportedly decided to make it official because “it was important for [their daughters] to see this moment and celebrate [Mama June's] love for Sugar Bear.” And that celebration looked a little something like this…

mamajune wedding dress

The dress code was – in all seriousness – ‘full redneck attire, either camo or hot pink’, and took place in their back garden in McIntyre, GA. Say what you like about the inventors of ‘sketti’, they stay true to their roots. Although it would have been hilarious to see them stage a complete recreation of Kim Kardashian’s wedding to Kris Humphries, only replacing the string quartet with an orchestra of banjos.

honeybooboo wedding

Alana ‘Honey Boo Boo’ served as flower girl and is Cletus and Brandine   June and Mike’s only child together, but June’s three other children from previous relationships (That’s relationships. Plural. See, there’s hope for us all), ‘Chickadee’, ‘Pumpkin’ and ‘Chubbs’ were also present. There are no photos of them though, so we can only assume that they were dressed in hunting vests and tutus.

mama-june

“My sister baked the cake, and we spent most of the money on barbecue,” June told People. “We stayed true to our roots and made the focus on the family and my commitment to Sugar Bear. You can definitely plan an event on a budget!”

Those possum steaks are costly, alright. It’s hard to dislike the human thumb and her band of misfits when you consider that they have made a considerable amount of cash from the public’s fascination with them, yet are still content to plan a wedding on a budget, and are obviously doing it out of love rather than the promise of a ten-page honeymoon spread in Us Weekly. Thank the sweet Lord.

Mama june kiss gif

They’re certainly more endearing than anyone you’d see on E! , and major props to Mama June for obviously teaching her kids that it’s more important to be who you want to be rather than who other people want you to be. When asked for relationship advice, June had this to say:

“Never settle for a man who doesn’t treat you right. If a guy doesn’t love everything about you, move on! There are plenty of other fish in the sea. I give this advice to my daughters because I always want them to be themselves and surround themselves with people who love them for them.”

And that, kids, is Mama June’s guide to finding your happily ever after…

mama june just married

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Comments

  1. Felicity Grope says

    Wow! Never thought I’d ever see it but that woman is a living example of a perfect isosceles triangle.