Cameron Diaz has been seen out and about with a gigantic diamond ring wedged right onto her wedding ring finger, prompting speculation that she's going to get married to Jennifer Aniston's ex, Paul Sculfor. Exciting!
Only you should probably dismiss that notion, because Cameron Diaz's people have said that she isn't engaged, and that the ring she was seen waving around so furiously recently was an old ring of hers that she just happened to be wearing on her ring finger in public.
So maybe Cameron Diaz is engaged and maybe she isn't. One thing's for sure – we genuinely couldn't care less about any of it either way. Hooray for us!
The world of Hollywood dating is like one of those revolving doors that you get trapped in because you're drunk and you can't find the exit and you end up vomiting and crying and trudging around in a circle for so long that eventually you're sloshing about in three inches of tear-diluted sick until the hotel security guards ban you for life. It's almost exactly like that.
Take Jennifer Aniston, for example. She's currently dating John Mayer, the man who used to go out with Jessica Simpson, while her ex-husband Brad Pitt is now with Angelina Jolie. But in between Pitt and Mayer, Jennifer Aniston went out with British model Paul Sculfor, who might now possibly be engaged to Cameron Diaz, who was with Justin Timberlake before he started going out with Jennifer Biel.
Anyway, now we've done the necessary groundwork, we feel duty-bound to tell you that Cameron Diaz might be engaged to Paul Sculfor even though she probably isn't. Last week Cameron was seen doing that unpleasant ringy finger-waggle that newly-engaged women do while being photographed leaving Nobu in Los Angeles. It seemed clear that Cameron Diaz was getting married.
However, Cameron Diaz's publicist wants you all to know that she definitely isn't getting engaged. Almost definitely. Possibly. Although she might be, even though that would defy logic on about 15 separate levels. Actress Archives reports:
According to a statement made Friday by the publicist, “It is not an engagement ring. It is her own ring, designed by her friend Lenore Marusak for La Paix.”
See? It's Cameron Diaz's own ring that she just happened to be wearing on her ring finger and waving around like it was on fire in front of the paparazzi.
That's almost certainly cleared some of this muddle up in part. In reality, though, we're sure that one of the following has actually happened…
1) Cameron Diaz is engaged.
2) Cameron Diaz isn't engaged, but she wanted to promote her friend's jewellery collection and creating a dreary hollow media stir was the easiest way to do it.
3) Cameron Diaz isn't engaged but she's pretending she is anyway because she's mental.
But let's just say that Cameron Diaz is engaged. It's Justin Timberlake who we feel most sorry for. He broke up with Cameron Diaz because she didn't want to get married to him, even though his entire last album was full of songs like My Love, Until The End Of Time, Why Won't You Just Bloody Marry Me and Seriously Cameron Diaz Why Won't You Marry Me (Is It My Girl's Voice?).
And now Cameron Diaz might be getting married to a bloke whose genitals still probably smell like Jennifer Aniston? Disgraceful. Or, if she isn't engaged, not disgraceful. We think the moral of this story is that Cameron Diaz is sort of annoying.