God bless you, Britters (CDs /DVDs). Without you, hecklerspray wouldn’t be half the site it is today. Along with testosterone-fuelled Bear-man Russell Crowe (DVDs), your constant antics have kept the wheels of our chucklesome celebrity wagon rolling along.
And now? Now people are shelling out hard cash to purchase your piss …
… okay, okay. Maybe that’s a little unfair. For once, it isn’t actually Britney herself dipping her toes in the murky waters of tastlessness.
If we want someone to blame for this latest charade, we can look no further than Canadian radio station New Hot 89.9, who paid off an unspecified ‘contact‘ to rummage around an L.A hotel room bathroom bin and pull out Ms. Spear’s pee-stained pregnancy kit (doesn’t this highlight the differences in local radio on either side of the Atlantic? They get nutters stealing toiletries from pop stars and we get people called Geoff playing Phil Collins records).
After being so unceremoniously stolen, the pregnancy kit was then passed on like some urine-sploshed baton to a gambling site. The money on the table? A bladder-bursting $5,001 (£2,600 in our crinkly Queen-faced money).
It would seem that the … ahem … ‘collectors item’ is to be given away as a prize by the website in some high-stakes gambling contest. Hmm …. hecklerspray has to say that we prefer a nice, simple civilised game of Poker.
Of course, all of this would be utterly without merit were it not for the fact that all proceeds have been donated to charity: ‘The Candlelighter’s Childhood Cancer Foundation and The Easter Seal Society, which helps disabled children’.
So, there you go, Britney. You’ve finally got involved in something worthwhile. Maybe you start flogging off your bodily fluids as a full-time profession? At least then you wouldn’t go releasing any more of your bloody awful music.
Just a thought.
[story by C J Davies]