Britney Spears might not be medically qualified to feed or dress herself any more but boy, can she ever play largely inactive roles in elaborate legal proceedings surrounding her estate.
You see, there's been a fight between Britney Spears' dad Jamie and a lawyer working for a mystery client about – we think – whether or not Jamie keeps Britney Spears locked in abandoned monkey cage to stop her getting into trouble. And the lawyer had been trying to move Jamie Spears' conservatorship to a federal court to sort it out.
But it's OK, because a judge has denied the move. And that's important news because it, um, has something to do with Britney Spears. Vaguely.
Deep down, the whole world wants to be Britney Spears' conservator, but they're all just too scared to admit it. All that money. All that power. All that stopping Britney Spears from weeing on her own. It's enough to send you crazy with power. So crazy that you end up in a psychiatric hospital. Possibly.
As you already know, Britney Spears' current conservator is her father. Jamie Spears has done a pretty good job of keeping Britney under tight control so far – he's sacked her manager and managed to halt the flow of 'look what a crazy old nutter Britney Spears is' stories. But some would say that Jamie is imposing his will on Britney Spears a little too much.
Back on Valentine's Day, lawyer Jon Eardley – ostensibly working on the behalf of Britney Spears, although nobody seems too sure who actually hired him – filed papers seeking to move the conservatorship case to a federal court. The exact details are far too long and boring to go into, but the jist of it is that Jamie Spears is said to have so much control over Britney Spears that it violates her civil rights. And also that, at night, Jamie Spears dresses Britney up as a Russian dancing bear and makes her jig along to accordion music while standing on a heated plate. Or something.
However, yesterday a judge decided to deny the federal move, as Reuters reports:
A federal judge has denied an attempt to move the conservatorship case over the affairs of troubled pop star Britney Spears to U.S. jurisdiction from a California court, documents showed on Wednesday. U.S. District Judge Philip Gutierrez ruled the claims "may not arise under federal law" and indicated that not all necessary supporting documents were submitted, according to court papers.
The judge gave Eardley until the end of the month to get his argument in order, but it doesn't look likely to go any further unless he reveals who hired him. At the moment, the frontrunner seems to be Britney's old manager Sam Lutfi, although it could really be anyone.
Jamie Spears is thought to be against a move to a federal court, because it would mean temporarily giving up his conservatorship of Britney. And we're not so keen on the move, either, because it means there'll be even more Britney Spears news around than there already is. And who the hell wants that?
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