Oh Britney Spears, you were doing so well – screaming about your vagina during a concert was a masterstroke.
But now this? This is disgusting. You knew the pattern as well as anyone, Britney Spears – first you scream about your minge, then you run off and get knocked up by the first scummy-looking waster to cross your path even though he looks like he’s probably got public lice.
That’s the natural order of things, Britney Spears. You certainly don’t get a 37-year-old boyfriend who probably wears a suit for a living. So what have you done? Exactly that very thing. Ugh.
It’d be wrong to say that Britney Spears tends to go for a certain type, because the word ‘type’ seems to be a little too polite to describe all the men in her life. ‘Species’ might be closer. But they have shown that there’s a definite way to get into Britney’s… um, we were going to say knickers but she doesn’t really wear any, does she?
Anyway, this pattern – if the likes of Kevin Federline and Adnan Ghalib are anything to go by, then the optimum seduction technique involves cultivating a look so sleazy that it’d cause most other girls to dry-heave their own skeletons up, waiting for Britney Spears to reach the apex of her psychiatric vulnerability and then making it perfectly clear that you intend to leech off her wealth and fame to aid your own paltry level of celebrity regardless of how much it buggers her life up.
Or be a girl. We heard that Britney might be into that too.
But anyway, that’s how Britney Spears’ mind works. Which is why we’re shocked and dismayed to hear that Britney Spears’ new boyfriend might be 37-year-old Jason Trawick, an entertainment agent who possibly looks quite smart, could probably support himself financially and has almost definitely never shortened his name to J-Tra. What is the girl playing at? MTV reports:
The pair have known each other for over five years but have now reportedly been getting romantic. He works for the top showbiz agency William Morris and also represents Taylor Swift and Paris Hilton. According to reports Trawick is one of the few people trusted by Britney?s dad Jamie to work with the 27 year old star.
Now we can’t be the only ones to smell something fishy going on here. Are we really meant to believe that this Jason Trawick chap knew Britney Spears five years ago, when she was young and sexy and normal and unmarried and child-free, but he’s waited for her to get married, have two kids, get divorced, go batshit boogaloo and end up in a mental institution before he made his move? He’s seen Britney Spears at her very worst and he still wants to get romantically entangled with her? We don’t buy it – what’s the catch?
Oh, wait, hang on – Jason Trawick is Britney Spears’ agent, so he does leech off her wealth and fame after all. Phew, we wondered what was going on for a moment there.
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Julian Mentat says
Looks like she has raised her level of self-esteem to the maximum possible for a singer who mimes.