When Henry VIII wrote his first Sherlock Holmes story on the severed necks of his dead wives sometime in the 1500s, he likely had no idea how long his sleuth would endure.
Yet here it is, some 500 years later and we’re still making movies out of him. And how, you might ask, can this next incarnation possibly seem fresh after all these years? Why, as best as we can tell they’re tying in Iron Man or something.
Also – they’re bringing in Brad Pitt. Or they’re not. But they are. Or they’re not.
Well it’s official – Brad Pitt is playing the part of Sherlock Holmes’ winged, semi-robot nemesis James Moriarty. We know this because it was reported by the Mirror:
“[Guy Ritchie] got in a right pickle with movie execs when they clapped eyes on the rough cut of his latest film? and felt like re-titling it the Mystery of the Missing Moriarty. They ordered the director to reinstate the great Holmes? evil nemesis, pronto…Desperate for help, Guy phoned his old mucker Brad, who had starred in his gangster flick Snatch. Fortunately, Brad, 45, had a couple of days free in his busy schedule to pop over to Blighty to play the evil criminal mastermind.”
Sounds like a great idea – after all, look what Pitt did for Benjamin Button. Yeah – we’re talking real class here. Another reason adding him as an entirely new character last minute is brilliant is because we’ve heard it’s a sign of tremendous greatness when a script gets completely overhauled after it’s been 90% filmed.
That’s probably why it ends up the Pitt rumour is false. E! News says:
“By Jove, Brad Pitt is not?repeat not?snooping around the set of Sherlock Holmes. Warner Bros. is shooting down a widely disseminated newspaper report that the Hollywood hunk is planning to shoot a cameo as Moriarty, the archfoe of Robert Downey Jr.’s pipe-toking supersleuth. “The report in today’s London Mirror is completely inaccurate. Brad Pitt is not joining the cast of Sherlock Holmes and we’re extremely pleased with the production of the film,” a studio-sanctioned statement says.”
Well that’s too bad – because we’d already envisioned a terrific slow-motion bear fight Brad could have had in the end just as the credits rolled. The bear wouldn’t have been hurt, of course, but with the right CGI there could have been blood all over the place – now that’s a movie!
Actually, it’s probably best that Pitt doesn’t star with Downey on the film. After all, he’s a committed family man now, and the last thing anybody wants to hear is that he’s leaving Angie because a home-wrecking Robert is pregnant with Brad Jr.
That’s what happens on Pitt films, you know. Somebody always gets pregnant.
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