According to the medical journal we obtained from a trash bin near a reptile room at the London Zoo, the general pregnancy process begins with several pounds of wriggling snake genitalia, and tons of egg laying.
Until we start hanging out near gynaecological trash bins, we’ll likely remain quite stumped by the Pitt/Jolie pregnancy news.
Speculation has it that Angelina Jolie (DVDs) may have a little Brad Pitt
biscuit bit (i.e. baby) lounging about her innards. The news follows
the rumour plagued couple as workers on the set of her current movie The Good Shepherd began production again after a two month hiatus.
The costumes no longer fit around her stomach area. That’s right, they
think she’s , and wardrobe don’t lie. An insider had this to
"Her body had changed so much, that her wardrobe had to be refitted
to give her extra room in the tummy area. Several dresses had to be
We know what you’re thinking, Ang’s set return took place in early
December, just over a week after Thanksgiving. Maybe she just kept
getting drawn in by the turkey leftovers. That could also explain the
new stomach bulge. More popular speculation, however leans towards the ‘tummy’ area being exactly where a foetus lays about growing fingers,
toes, spinal juice, and other bodily necessities. If that doesn’t
raise those eyebrows, the same insider adds to the evidence pile:
“Angelina nearly fainted several times and had to be taken off to
the side to rest. People on set were thinking, She’s obviously
! All signs point to that.”
hecklerspray takes no official position at this time as to whether
or not Ms. Jolie is all pregged up. We would, however, like to take
the time to bring up a past Jolie quote:
"There’s something about making a choice, waking up and travelling
somewhere and finding your family."
Jolie was referring to lovingly
adopting her two current children Maddox and Zahara from struggling
If Angelina so thoroughly enjoys getting out there and finding her
kids, might we recommend the doctor safely hide the child somewhere in
the organ transplant wing immediately after cord cutting. It would
likely take her a while to look there, making the first mother/child
cuddle-hug that much more rewarding.
Don’t drag the umbilical though, that would probably leave a pink trail right to it.
[story by Shawn Lindseth]