Because America is only about 4 years old compared to the rest of the world, it has to pin its dreams on daft things. They don’t have a royal family, so they obsess over various Kennedy family member and celebrities.
Concerning the latter, celebrity weddings are the closest thing they have to experiencing the collective thrill/antipathy of a Royal Wedding.
And now, America’s first couple – Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie – are going to get married, which will be met with a whole range of emotions, starting at ‘boredom’ and ending at ‘anger’. ‘Vaguely pleased because they might be nice people for all we know’ probably makes an appearance somewhere in the middle.
After a whole six years together, where they adopted a child per year and force fed us all a stream of bile smelling charity, Brangelina/Jitt are going to tie the knot. Which knot we don’t know. We’re not allowed to go to weddings so we assume a vicar ties the bride and groom’s fingers together in some stupid, agonising religious ritual.
Apparently, this glamorous and irritatingly likeable pair will be saying “I do” in the renovated Chateau Miraval in Correns, France, which is nice if you’re getting an invite. For those of us who aren’t, we’ll just have to choose between of seething envy or blind, pie-eyed reflected glee.
As is par for the course these days, ultra famous celebs don’t want super lavish bashes (not like in the past. Pitt has already had a million dollar nuptials when he snared Jennifer Aniston) and will be having a wedding that will be “intimate and informal”, according to a completely unreliable insider.
They’ll probably get married on the moon now that’s been said, just to irritate us all.
This is something of a turnaround though. The pair have resisted getting married until it became legal for everyone, be they gay or straight… it seems they couldn’t care less about the gays now.
The monsters.
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dog wover says
Holy Crap! You were right! I did go from “boredom” and ended up at “anger.” Here’s the anger part: WHO GIVES A SHIT WHAT THESE TWO PHONY IDIOTS DO?
If Americans think this is going to be their “royal wedding” they will be mightily disappointed when these dim stars run off to Africa and jump over a broom. Woo hoo, maybe she’ll shove some sand in his piehole just to make it more traditional-like.