Alex James – the Hugh Grant-haired, bass-playing, cheese-making lovey of Brit Pop superstars Blur (the pretty one who pursed his lips in every video) – has re-sparked rumours of Blur reuniting.
True, this is perhaps the 27th time he personally has sparked the rumours of Blur reuniting.
And, true, it’ll almost certainly be as fruitless as the rest of them. But still, anything to make people realise the Kaiser Chiefs are nothing but an insulting pretender to their throne is worth commenting on.
It’s been five years since they released Think Tank; a kind of ‘half-good, half-wanky’ take on modern culture (a feeling encapsulated perfectly by the usage of a Banksy painting on the front cover – the King of ‘half-good, half-wanky’). Since then the Blur boys have all taken their own unique paths.
Lead guitarist Graham Coxon – one of the greatest guitar players in the world (how will the hecklerspray massive react to that statement we wonder?) was the first to leave the band. He featured on just one track of Think Tank before realising that the studio walls weren’t big enough to hold his talent and Damon’s ego.
And we can only thank baby Jesus for that, for he has since gone on to become the finest solo-artist in the country (think differently do ya? Well bring it on. And if any of you so much as think of challenging that with Paolo Nutini, then prepare for the wrath of hecklerspray).
Damon Albarn, the self-confessed overlord of creativity, has, among other things, made an album in Mali with a bunch of Malinese musicians, which was lovely.
He has furthered his work with Gorillaz and announced himself to be a communist – something that finally explains the collaboration with Ken Livingstone in The Great Escape on the track Old Arnold Same.
No wonder Oasis won.
Damon’s latest project was to make a Chinese opera with the Gorillaz, which he composed via some interesting yet half-wanky thinking. He said:
I created a mathematical system that guaranteed I wouldn’t be able to use any of my western melodic ideas. I came up with this system based on a series of numbers that relate to the five pointed star of the Communist party. Then there is a fight scene based on a 15 point star system. You rotate the numbers on the star and put in different keys
A genius, or a wanker? You decide.
Dave Rowntree, the drummer, was famous for having literally no personality. He has since gone on to become a Labour MP.
And Alex James has become a farmer who, as previously stated, makes his own cheese, writes about life in the countryside endlessly, telling stories about hanging out with flocks of sheep and Jeremy Clarkson.
Little wonder then that his voice is the most often heard in regards to a reunion.
Damon recently dismissed the idea of a Blur reunion, because none of them need the money, but Alex aint so sure. According to the Evening Echo, he said:
We’re all pretty busy, but I’d be surprised if it never happens, but I would be terrified if it was happening on Monday.
Sunday, Sunday, here again, a walk in the farm, you speak to Jeremy Clarkson and you make some cheese, you dream of Blur reuniting, cos the life you’ve made is depressing, to gather the band around the table, and have another go, fuck those Sunday sheeeeep.
Yeah, it may turn out they’re half as good as before, but half as good as old Blur is twice as good as new Kaiser Chiefs and as far as the youth of today are concerned all we used to listen to was the Spice Girls and Take That.
Come back and show them there was more.
Rob Delaney says
I’ve been on some Dodgems with Damon Albarn. Fact. He’s quite tall and well built. You don’t expect that from the videos. Kurt Cobain was, too.
Anyway, my mate neil had wanted to speak to Damon since he was, like, 2 years old (this was at uni), and went up to him, introduced himself and got blanked.
Understandable to a degree, perhaps, just about, but he was a bit of a wanker. And I had to watch as my friend’s hero worship of Blur shrivelled like a crisp packet in an oven. Sad.
Alex James is a really crappy substitute for A A Gill in the restaurant columns too.
Rob Delaney says
Oh, I have no opinion on Graham Coxon at all. He’s no Matt Bellamy, though.
Slowhand says
As good a player as Matt Bellamy is, Graham Coxon is at the very least twice the guitarist.
In Britain only Johnny Marr has come close over the last 20-30 years, and Stephen Street (a man who should know) reckons Coxon is even better than Marr.
kitlet says
Graham is the best, end of. How much do I love you for coming full on with that… Damon’s wankery is so fucking boring I don’t even know if a Blur reunion would be any good. He’s been writing the same tweedly twaddly hooks for the last 10 years, getting other people to make them sound catchy and fresh, and then he acts like he’s the supremo creator of the universe. What a c**t.