?Eurovision, the sparkly Olympics?of the music world, was held in Sweden last Saturday, and as usual, there was only about 10% of it actually worth watching.
And it wasn’t so much about the cheesy techno songs as it was just one big game of ‘Who Can Come Up With The Strangest Gimmick’. Some went with giant disco balls, some went with lesbian kisses and Ukraine went with a 7-ft giant dressed as a viking.
There was never actually any explanation of why the singer was too lazy to walk on stage and demanded to be carried by the BFG’s Nordic cousin, but they finished in third place, so apparently the rest of Europe can relate to that feeling. Some parts of Europe however, didn’t relate to this…
Finland’s entry saw Krista Siegfrids prance around in a cheap wedding dress that looked like it fell off the back of Katy Perry’s tour bus and sing a song called ‘Marry Me’ ,which reached High School Musical levels of bubblegum camp. Right up until the moment she performed an on-stage examination of one of the backing dancer’s tonsils. When interviewed ahead of the show, she said:
“It’s about love and tolerance. But gay marriage is not allowed in Finland and that’s wrong. I wanted to make a statement about that.”
Well it’s Eurovision, so at least we know that she didn’t do it to appeal to all the straight men watching at home. Turkey decided not to air the entire show, calling the three-second kiss ‘gay propaganda’. Apparently they watched the last fifty six shows with their eyes shut and their hands clamped over their ears.
The interval show featured all things Sweden, including ABBA, Ikea, recycling and tap-dancing meatballs. They also included a gay kiss, this time between two men, to celebrate the fact that they have same-sex marriage. Finland probably felt like they were just rubbing it in.
The award for the most typically ‘Eurovision’ performance goes to Romania, who’s entry consisted of ?a bedazzled Dracula and nearly-naked backing dancers cartwheeling around lots of floaty red fabric. I don’t know whether Taylor Swift keeps up with European singing competitions, but she could do with take a few pointers from this performance.
Denmark were the eventual winners with 281 points, but their song was nothing special. ?Instead, here’s ?Greece’s entry, called ‘Alcohol Is Free’. I don’t know about you, but I think we’ve just discovered why their economy is going down the plughole. You can’t just go around handing Ouzo out willy-nilly!
KSSunflower says
Wow. Just. Wow.
ThePinkKirby says
Were The Rasmus there?