The Big Bang Theory is the Cause of All the World’s Problems

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SheldonI want to start this piece with an anecdote. 

The other day, while I was walking in to the supermarket, I noticed a group of teenage girls  standing around the entrance with buckets and matching t-shirts. They were raising money for their gymnastics club. “Oh,” I thought, “I must remember to give them some change on my way out.” That’s when I heard her say it.

As I was walking by, the smallest of the group turned to her friends and said, in reference to me: “Oh my god, he looks just like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory.” I quickly changed my mind about contributing to their efforts, and immediately starting thinking about ways to change the natural look of my face? I don’t know what was more hurtful: comparing me to a not-that-attractive guy or saying that I resemble one of the characters on the worst show on TV.

It’s definitely the latter.

Now, there aren’t a lot of things I don’t understand in this world, but the popularity of The Big Bang Theory is one of them. It’s the most-watched comedy on television, which makes me weep for humanity. The truth is the show has never been funny. It never will be funny. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that it is worse than Two and a Half Men.

If you are one of the lucky people who have never seen the show, let me break it down for you: Leonard and Sheldon are two physicists who share an apartment. Through the magic of unrealistic narrative television, they become friends with the beautiful waitress who lives across the hall from them. Along with friends Howard and Rajesh, the five get together and engage in many hilarious capers (in theory).

You know what really kills me? This piece of shit show has won awards. The guy who plays Sheldon – the one that those midget girls thought I looked like – has won two Emmys and a Golden Globe. How the Christ did he manage that? He is a terrible actor who plays a one-dimensional, stereotypically geeky character. I didn’t see Screech from Saved by the Bell or Roger from Sister, Sister winning any awards in the ‘90s, and they played the exact same character.

Big Bang Theory cast

The majority of the show’s humor comes from the premise that smart people are funny because they say smart things that us normal people don’t understand. Half of every episode involves the geeks saying geeky things to each other; while the blonde girl doesn’t understand. She might make a funny face or say “Yeah, I understand” sarcastically. As the audience, we relate to her and laugh at the awkward situation. And that’s it. That’s the whole show. You don’t even have to watch it now.

Plus, would it kill the producers to add a bit of eye candy? I know these characters are supposed to be losers, but can’t they at least be Hollywood losers? Like when they take a really attractive actor and put a pair of glasses on him/her? Is that too much to ask?

Honestly, if you have any sense at all; you’ll avoid The Big Bang Theory at all costsBut Ross, what will I watch instead of The Big Bang Theory? Very good question. How about any or all of these?

  • Parks and Recreation
  • The Office
  • Modern Family
  • The New Normal
  • Girls
  • The Mindy Project
  • It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia

To be honest, you could just stare into space for a half hour. That would be a better way to spend your time.

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Comments

  1. Nicole says

    You didn’t give money (that you were going to give) to a gymnastics group because they referenced a show you don’t like? I didn’t even read the rest of this article. I cannot take someone that shallow seriously. It’s not like they said you looked like some infamous historical figure or started talking about how awesome nuclear weapons are. Get over yourself.

  2. bowlinggal says

    If clever comedy writing and really good ensemble acting are not your cup of tea, by all means do NOT watch “Big Bang Theory!” I have no idea what show Mr. Semple has been watching but it isn’t this one. Millions of fans and the television industry can’t all be wrong in the popularity of this show. It’s hilarious!

  3. me says

    What’s your problem? i learned something and its that if someone have a problem with me its because maybe one of us is wrong but when i have a problem with everybody I am definitely wrong and you said it and I quote ” It’s the most-watched comedy on television” so either you don’t get the jokes or you are just a hater

  4. Christy says

    The shows you are recommending for people to watch, are all good shows, and I watch them too, but they are filmed in a very different format, and they all use the same type of humor which “The Office” and “30 Rock” founded. “The Big Bang Theory” is an episodic classic style comedy show, with a live audience. I disagree with you completely about the show, and find your statements against it overly simplified. The character of Sheldon is beloved by most “bbt” fans, because he is essentially the perfect nerd, and Jim Parsons acting is spot on. On what planet can you compare SCREECH from “Saved By The Bell” to Sheldon??? Screech was just a scrawny, goofy high school kid who pined over “Lisa” constantly. How can you compare that to a sharp-witted physicist whom is nearly asexual??? “The Big Bang Theory” is very unique in its material, and that is why it is so popular. You simply can’t compare it to other shows.

  5. Helen says

    Seriously?
    Lighten up….
    Life doesnt have to be taken so seriously all the time
    If you dont like a programme on tv…simple just dont watch
    I dont watch shows i dont like
    Im not going to write an essay on why i dont like it
    Remotes are very useful things…use it

  6. fatherb says

    Big Bang Theory is ace. You are quite simply wrong.

    I’d watch your recommended shows though if any of them were available to watch on normal telly. All are broadcast only on Sky in the UK (I’m guessing, as I don’t have it).

  7. Jocko says

    Yeah, it’s not a good show. The writing is lazy, the characters are all one-dimensional, and the Sheldon character is so annoying I want to reach through the screen and slap him. If you want a real show for nerds watch Community. Their jokes are actually clever and have depth. They don’t just reference a comic book character and call it a punchline.

  8. Rob says

    Haters will hate. I honestly like the BBT as it taps into geek culture the way no other show has. Yes the comedy is easy, but (most the older episodes) were at time unique. I also really enjoy Parks and Recreation, and (older) The Office. But add to this that some of the other ‘watched’ shows listed are utterly horrible: Modern Family, It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. I guess it’s just easiest to say “to each his own.” And please regard that ANYTHING scripted and acted (or animated) is better than what was and is shown as ‘reality’ TV.

  9. Nerd says

    Sorry you don’t appreciate the humor – clearly your IQ does not allow you to appreciate the nature of the zingers – or to put it in a form you might accept – they are over your head.

    We could try to dumb things down – but then we would not really be attractive to our key demographic – nerds with no life and an excess of cash.

    You can keep your Parks and Rec – and those of us in Mensa can have our Big Bang. Please just ignore our show from here on out. It will stay over your head and we don’t want you to get a headache.

  10. lgb says

    Oh my god, you were compared to an award winning actor on the biggest comedy currently on TV, how horrible, I feel so bad for you… oh wait, that’s gas.

    Honestly I like Big Bang Theory for precisely the reasons you hate it. I LIKE that the geeks look like geeks, they’re not 6 foot tall bronzed hunks who do physics, they’re genuinely nerdy looking people. I like that the writing is actually intelligent, that the physycists sound like physicists. It can be really funny when it want’s to be and there’s a lot more good humor than in 2 and a half men (Which is dick jokes interspersed with different dick jokes) so I honestly think it’s really a good show, maybe not the best on TV, but good.

  11. Fellow Hater says

    I agree with you, Mr. Semple!
    I hate this show! I get the jokes…I just don’t think they’re funny. “Sheldon” is incredibly annoying, why would anyone in real life put up with him?
    Plus, the show is too White; they couldn’t find a black genius? Or would that have been too unrealistic? Phooey.

  12. Charles Prescott says

    Are you sure you’re not the same guy who did the article on how he not only hates the Beatles, but on how they have absolutely zero musical merit and are on a par with the Spice Girls? …just checkin’. Perusing the list of shows that you offered as alternatives to The BBT; #1 is a little funny sometimes, #2 is hilarious, #3 has its moments, and the rest, as we used to say in Catholic school, slurp scrote …ESPECIALLY Philadelphia! Also, you have the premise of the show wrong – and EXACTLY BACKWARDS! The premise is that the smart people don’t get what the rest of us do! Ah, you’ll like this:Actually, the BBT is somewhat of a “smart person’s” program, in that you have to be aware of and understand hundreds of cultural references from different social periods and diverse American subcultures to “get it”. I don’t think you’re really this dense and tasteless. I think your the guy yelling “The Beatles suck!” just to seem different and garner some attention, and Hey! – you did!

  13. Charles Prescott says

    P.S.
    Charles here. Yes, after I pushed SUBMIT I saw that I had used “your” instead of “you’re”. I don’t need anyone jumping on that after all the work I put into my comment. Thanks

  14. Matt says

    Nice list of shitty TV shows to watch instead of BBT. The only one with even the slightest bit or worth is It’s Always Sunny and even then only because it’s like a poor man’s Seinfeld. A really, really poor man.

  15. Physics Master says

    You haven’t been singled out by bullies or targeted by hate for being intelligent have you?
    Most geeky people who observe (Yes I do mean observe, not watch) this show receive emotional support from the relating experiences. This is a group of typical nerds I find myself within everyday, and interestingly we have mix feelings about the show, however I have noticed the main problem is that we see the laugh tracks as breaking the silence without purpose, which is why we decided community the better show.

  16. Tony G says

    No one seems to agree with anything you say, Ross. Neither did I, but you got us to write a comment, and I guess that is what you’re paid to do. It can’t possibly be for your fairness or sense of humor, and God knows it’s not for your looks. Do you really think you have any room to diss anyone on that score? This isn’t your real opinion; this is just you being funny, right? You don’t have any room to diss anyone on that score either. Oh snap!

  17. Ross Semple says

    Thanks for your interest, Tony. I’m disappointed that you didn’t like what you saw when you left this site to look my picture up on the internet. I’m glad you took the time to do so though.

    A million kisses,

    Ross

  18. Ridiculous Story says

    Rajeesh is Indian and Howard is Jewish. I’m sorry that they’re aren’t black, but black is not the only minority in the world.

  19. Anon says

    Wow, all these people supporting one of the biggest pieces of drivel to ever hit TV. If you tried to watch this show without a laugh track behind it you would be surprised at how dry and boring it really is.

    Good article, and good suggestions.

  20. Ed Gibney says

    Penny is the single biggest reason for the popularity of the BBT. I could watch her all day happily. She wouldn’t even have be funny. Face. Body. Both 11 on a scale of 1 to 10.
    Sheldon nails the geek who’s totally uncomfortable in his own skin. Howard and Leonard are amusing at times as well.
    It’s really all about Penny though.

  21. Jana says

    Sorry…absolutely love BBT. And Ross…I think Sheldon is sexy as hell (for BBT fans aka the “sexy toddler”) so the same applies to you if you happen to resemble him. Embrace your awesomeness. :-)

  22. Kahula says

    TBBT is funny too me as I don’t have access to much of American pop-culture or anything else that’s referenced so much on the other shows you mention, also they’re not shown here- atleast not on the cable service I get. So that’s why I laugh at this show…. And yeah, its started into a rom-com into a teenage gimmicky rom-com for Twilight Saga fans.

    No good writing for the ‘female’ nerds on the show either. As someone pointed out elsewhere probably due to the fact that most of the writers are middle-aged divorced men who taking out their angst on the so-called ‘intelligent’ female characters on the show.

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