Oh look at you, all pleased for Beyonce and Jay-Z for growing a lickle baby waby inside her. It’s amazing isn’t it? She’ll go from Best Woman In The World to Shoving Stupid Pictures Of Her Spawn All Over Her Stupid Facebook in one felled swoop.
Of course, if you’ve been gawping at her, you will have noticed that she has been showing something of a baby bump off. This is so we can all coo about her pregnancy glow, right?
Well, rumour has it that, while she is indeed waiting on a baby, she’s not pregnant at all! NOT PREGNANT AT ALL. So what’s the muttering?
Well, as everyone is reporting at the minute, Beyonce is rumoured to be using a fake baby bump, thereby making her pregnancy more obvious.
Why would she do that? Because the publicity is nice? Probably.
However, if she’s got a plastic stomach on, then maybe, just maybe, she’s actually giving birth to a plastic baby. A baby that will never cry. A baby that will never age. A baby you can leave in a drawer and not worry about social services trying to kick your ass while you go on tour for a year.
Elsewhere, some site called Oh No They Didn’t, have reported that a surrogate could possibly be carrying Beyonce and Jay-Z’s baby.
“Rumor has it that Beyonc? is wearing a fake prosthetic while her unknown surrogate carries her baby,” it claims.
Lawyers, please take note: We didn’t claim she was faking it. We claimed that she was actually pregnant with a plastic child.
Just so you know exactly what you’re suing us for.
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or else we’ll kill you in your sleep or join our Facebook group if anyone is still daft enough to use it or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS OR WE’LL KILL EVERYONE YOU’VE EVER LOVED!
RiriNavy says
I think its really a baby inside BEYONCES belly!
Courtney says
I guess the rocket scientist who wrote this has never heard of Google! Guess you did not see the picture of Beyonce on vacation in a bikini with her ACTUAL BABY BELLY in clear view. Nice work…
oh really says
Courtney.. I don’t know about you, but I’m a small girl who in a bikini after a few drinks and lots of good food could also pass off as having a ‘pregnant’ belly. She looked bloated at best, the muscle sits differently, it’s very forced.
Due to the career of this women, the fact is, lets face it.. a baby would detroy her carefully formed body. Specially on darker skin. Shes the most vein thing on earth and I hope the baby looks just like Jay-Z.
natashia says
@oh really: My thoughts exactly!! the pictures of her at the beach are not the most convincing… Her stomach looks like she finally ate a full course meal (I bet she’ll never do that again). I guess it’s that serious to have a baby because everyone in the industry is doing it, but she’ll never know the real joy of bonding with your baby while he/she is in your stomach. If she’s concerned with her body that much then why even want to be pregnant (she ain’t ready). Just adopt like other celebs do, faking it just seems like a lot of unnecessary b.s
lmao says
I agree with oh really, its pretty obvious that her little non existent belly is either her using a surrogate or her lying about how far along she is so like many other conceded mothers in the biz she doesnt have to go full term with her baby so she doesnt get full term fat. but really i think its a surrogate and a fake belly. i saw the bikini pics and please she doesnt look prego at all unless you are helen keller looking at those pics. idiots, all of you for falling for it and lmao if that poor baby looks like jay z..ugliest man alive
AGREED! says
I agree, her belly is fake! Her stomach was huge on the red carpet at the vma’s, but it wasn’t that big when she was on stage. It looked even smaller when she was in the bikini. She just looked bloated. What pregnant woman’s stomach fluctuates up and down? Most women just get bigger. I think she’s gonna come out in a few weeks like, “Look, I’ve lost all my baby weight!” Smh.
tee truth says
Ugh thats no binki and i can make my stomach look like that after a few drinks and a meal with apoke
tee truth says
Heres how you will know 1 the baby will look like jay z he maros his babies check out his son who the mom is a model killing beyonce 2 still no one will know of the seg. Unless she comes foqard 3 if she is carrying the child how is hoping out of trucks like that and sitting down like no pregnant woman can
Shalen16 says
All of yall are so stupid she was pregnant ! Like really yall have nothing better to do but spread rumors. Get a freakin life and grow up ! . And if she ” WAS” faking then thats on her why are yall stressin it……
Robo says
God who ever wrote this is kind of an ass! who cares about weather she having the baby or not, she wants a baby, jeez
toya says
Beyonce was never pregnant if she was y would jayz pay 1.3million dollars just 2 rent the 4th floor at the hospital and not wanting any doctors on the floor…I mean it was other patients on the same floor…It’s not that serious the truth will be revealed weather they like it or not…
Jo Rawlings says
I could care less if she gave birth to an alien. We have all had babies, I don’t know why hers is so special. I hope it’s the ugliest baby ever. It will be if it looks like JZ
Shortcake says
Keep these made- up stories coming. You will give Beyonce’s lawyers all the ammo they need to sue the shirt off of you.
Dana says
There has been a lot of understandable hype about the pregnancy. The collapsed baby bump didn’t help matters. The bump size also varied to a point where one thinks it must be an accessory. Well we will all know the truth when the article or book “how I gave birth to Beyonce’s baby” or something of that nature surfaces someday. Anyways congrats on the baby girl to all 3 of you!
stop it says
stop it really if she did or didnt thats her business to everyone who think she didnt go find some business haters stop it
MMJ says
Any baby is cute, why? Because they are precious new souls that have arrived on this earth (A gift from our creator) whom has once again breathed the breath of life for Ivy to live. If you guys think that THIS CHILD is a spawn of satan and the mother and father are satan’s puppets then what we should do is pray for them to come to the Lord. We should pray for them to give up their false God and come to the true God and find salvation through Jesus. I have to admit I remember when Beyonce was coming up with her group Destiny’s Child. THEY ALWAYS HAD A SONG AT THE END OF THEIR ALBUM THANKING JESUS FOR BEING SO BLESSED. You can tell when people change. And the fruits of BEYONCE’S tree is not good nowadays. And there is no doubt that Jay-Z worships Not God but maybe, himself, money or satan. His videos depict death, fornication, occult images and violence. But don’t forget people that THEIR IS NO SIN TOO GREAT FOR GOD TO FORGIVE US IF WE A TRULY SORRY. With Jesus we can do anything. So PLEASE stop bashing Them and their child and just pray for the future to be a righteous future for them because they influence a lot of people. I understand how mad you are at them because they are blatantly corrupting the world EVEN FURTHER right in front of your eyes and it seems you can do nothing about it, but you can! You few that know can alert others to what’s going on so that more people will seek God. But the way we are going about it is wrong. We can’t represent God through Hate, only LOVE. God wants you to pray for your enemies. JUST PRAY. IF YOU BELIEVE GOD CAN CHANGE EVEN THEM, THEN PRAY… JUST PRAY!
kieshauna says
I WANT TO KEEP IT REAL ABOUT BEYONCE CARRYING A BABY, NO NOT TRUE AT ALL SHE WAS LIVE IN AUSTRALIA REVEALING A FAKE BABY BUMP, WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL ABOUT A SURROGATE MOTHER IF THATS WHAT YOU CHOOSE THATS YA BUSINESS, BUT DON’T FAKE THE BABY BUMP THE BABY IS YOU AND JZS KNOW MATTER WHAT PLEASE KEEP IT REAL NEXT PRGNANCY AND STOP BEING SO FAKE YOU MADE YOUR SELF LOOK LIKE A FOOL. lol
kieshauna says
YOU SOUND SO FUCKIN SILLY WATCH THE AUSTRALIA INTERVIEW WHILE WEARING A FAKE BABY PILLOW STOMACHE