Anyone who says they hate Beyonce is either a liar or a former member of Destiny’s Child, jarred and infuriated by her monumental success. Fact is, Beyonce Knowles is one of the most likeable pop-stars we’ve ever had. She’s just marvellous isn’t she?
And if you’re thinking ‘yeah, but I hate her music! All that stupid histrionics! It makes my turds hang sideways!’, you’re forgetting that she just looked really, really great in the ‘Crazy In Love’ video. Right?
Now, she’s got a new album due called ‘4’ and, well, loads of people have heard it in its entirety thanks to it getting leaked online (where else? The trad. arr. press couldn’t leak a septic tit). She’s not particularly happy about it.
The long-player was supposed to see release on 27th June, but alas, it is already available now to those who know how to get access to music illegally. Of course, the people that do are in a massive minority, not that the recording industry would ever acknowledge it. The vast majority of the universe doesn’t have a foggiest about how to illegally download a track and is frightened of doing so in case they infect their precious computers with malware and the like.
Either way, those that have leaked the LP have been giving B’s newbie really good reviews, and she “appreciates” that, but somewhere in the back of her mind, she worried that all the effort she puts into the packaging and artwork of albums is just a huge waste of her time.
Which it is really. The majority of MP3 players don’t feature LP artwork and even the ones that do rarely see the light of day, being tucked away in pockets as people commute or *spit* jog around sweating all over themselves.
Beyonce says:
“My music was leaked and while this is not how I wanted to present my new songs, I appreciate the positive response from my fans”
“When I record music I always think about my fans singing every note and dancing to every beat. I make music to make people happy and I appreciate that everyone has been so anxious to hear my new songs.”
So she’s reasonably happy then, safe in the knowledge that she’s already gigantically successful and doesn’t really need to worry about it all like a new band would. WRONG.
It seems Beyonce has set her legal team on everyone, and they’re threatening action against blogs who do not remove links to the leaked LP.
The legal team must be incredibly busy because they’re going about taking action against every single person who uploads any of the new songs to YouTube and Twitter, which must be like trying to staple vomit to a cloud.
All in all, this story only tells us one thing: If you didn’t know you could get Beyonce’s ‘4’, it’ll be on a torrent now. Sell burned copies to the plebs at work for a quick buck if you’re smart.
Apologies if the headline made you think that this was about lactating breasts.
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Bobby says
Well, if it leaked five minutes before the official report date, people would have already gotten bored of it before it came out anyway. Beyonce sucks!
JoeMomma says
Don’t they have an automatic-R&B-pop-hit machine?
Every six months or so it creates 12 songs where 1 is good enough for a single, picks a random ‘artist’ (or creates one), presses the CDs/uploads to iTunes and waits for the money to start coming in?
I think they have a similar machine for Rap ‘artists’ as well. It’s just on a different schedule.
BeyRocks says
Don’t be raging because of her success! Loser
KINGB
Cookie Monster says
JoeMamma, there was some good rap in the world, once:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoDQ46gGTCY
JoeMomma says
LOL . “Alpha male on beta blockers” got me.