You’ve seen Sherlock on BBC television right? Yeah, that homoerotic nonsense that all furrowed brows and winks to camera. It’s awful isn’t it? If you’re the kind of swine-nosed, spotty sloven who is now tutting in disgust at such a sentiment, we have news.
Mr Benedict Cumberbatch, a man with a face like an iron hand, is going to be in the new Star Trek movie.
The British actor has been cast in J.J. Abrams? sequel to his 2009 ‘Star Trek’ reboot, according to Deadline.com. And when have they ever lied? And he could well be getting a juicy role.
Of course, you’re not bothered about the role he’ll be getting because you’re still fapping over the various glimpses of flesh that Benny Cummerbund flashes during his tenure as a smack-head violin detective aren’t you?
For those not working their groins up into a froth, Cumberbatch’s role is shrouded in mystery BUT, it seems that there’s mutterings which are growing louder and louder.
The rumours say that he’ll be playing the movie’s villain. Quite possibly Khan. This gives us the chance to mention the original Khan because not only is it relevant, but it’s also the best name ever – Ricardo Montalban.
Cumberbatch has a full diary of late, starring as a British cavalry officer in Spielberg’s ‘War Horse’ as well as a turn in ‘Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy’. He’s also joining his Sherlock co-star Martin Freeman in ‘The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey’ as the voice of the dragon Smaug.
Honestly. Grown men pretending to be dragons and elves.
Anyway, Benedict joins Chris Pine (Captain Kirk), Zachary Quinto (Spock), Zoe Saldana (Uhura), Karl Urban (Dr. McCoy), John Cho (Sulu) and Simon Pegg (Scotty) in this new Trekfest and everyone can continue having a big ol’ fiddle with themselves.
Hope you’re happy, scumbags.
Hilary says
‘face like an iron hand’
*applauds*