Before we even get going on this article, have you seen Adele’s chin? It’s the most odd chin in popular culture. It looks like someone has inserted a steel ‘W’ in her jaw. It looks like someone hit her in the face with a small axe. But Adele isn’t about the image, so she won’t care about that. She’s all about the songs. She’s the Susan Boyle it is okay to like. She’s The Voice.
A voice which she has lost, thanks to a bout of laryngitis. There are many who will be happy about this news, meaning that she won’t be appearing on our televisions with her awful faux torch-songs.
This, however, means that she’s had to cancel five dates she was due to play in North America. It is assumed that the self-pitying single women and melodramatic gay men who buy her records will be wallowing in her music, comfort eating and crying into online forums dedicated to the singer, currently with a face like a slapped arse.
Weirdly, Adele has been dominating the US pop charts lately, so there’ll be a whole load of grumpy people who won’t be able to watch her scintillating live show. Seriously. You ought to check her out. At one point in her performance, she stands almost perfectly still, apart from wafting one hand around like she’s seen the soul singers doing on YouTube. It’s amazing stuff.
Sadly, throat complaints are not prejudice in who they strike and the singer has had to cancel a load of shows at the last minute.? last week in Minneapolis, forcing her to cancel a performance at the last moment.
She’ll probably reschedule all her performances are we’re not bothering to find out the information for you because, if you care that much, you shouldn’t be looking at a site that says things like “face like a slapped arse” about your favourite singer.
Go on. Sling it. There’s probably some fansite waiting for you sycophants.
Now, we’re off to play her records at the wrong speed and laugh at how silly they sound because we’re monumentally childish idiots.
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Jamm,in Jeffrey says
You don’t have to be lonely. Female or Gay to love Adele, you just have to love A great singer who needs very little in accompaniment to Blowy your head off with her pASSIONATE mUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kev says
“You don
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