They, had, the time of their lives and they owed it all to lonely women, rapt with their nine bars of Galaxy. That’s right. We’re talking about Dirty Dancing which starred Baby Houseman and Johnny Castle as a pair of dancing things.
The original film was endured by the world over 20 years ago, prompting morons to reenact the lifting scene at their awful, awful weddings.
And now it’s coming back in a remake which will no doubt irritate everyone who think that there’s nothing wrong with the one that already exists, provoking them to say “You can’t replace the Swayze!” Hopefully, this redux will have robots in it.
The studio making the film (who cares what they’re called?) say:
“Paying tribute to the emotional excitement of first love, the thrills and complexity of sexual awakening, the soul stirring power of dance, and the classic tale of teenage Baby’s forbidden romance with Johnny Castle, the remake will incorporate classic songs from the 1960s, hits from the original film and brand new compositions!”
So it’s exactly the same as the old one, only with some new songs?
Wait! There’s more! The film’s original choreographer, Kenny Ortega, will direct the remake, to make it more exactly the same as the original.
Ortega has good form too. He directed Michael Jackson’s tour film “This Is It.” There’s probably a joke about ‘Ghost’ in there, what with Swayze and Jackson being really dead.
Ortega says in a statement to the film police:
“Patrick Swayze set the bar for men dancing in the movies as Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire did before him. I believe everywhere you look there is evidence that the talent is out there and I can’t wait to begin the process of discovering the next breakout triple-threats”
Dirty bit.
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Please says
Just leave baby in the corner. She wasn’t that interesting this first time.