As well you know, Ashton Kutcher is a oddly hairlined berk. He’s managed to make a career out of… well… playing himself. Which is notably, a dunderhead with a six pack and blank look on his head.
Still, at least he’s aware of this. How?
Well, the pro-goofball – who was recently announced as Charlie Sheen’s replacement on Two And A Half Men – says that his landing the role ‘feels like winning the lottery’. As you know, the lottery is a game of chance which showers someone with vast fortune despite them not having ever really earned it. Nice of him to underline how unfair the world can be for us all.
Ashton says, while probably thinking about how funny dogs are when they run around and that…
‘I’ve never probably in my 13 years in show business received more phone calls and e-mails from people congratulating me on this job’
It would appear that everyone is glad to see the back of Charlie Sheen. Is Ashton Kutcher responsible for the ding dong death of the terrible meme witch? Either way, Kutcher wants to talk more, because he’s selfish and overpaid.
‘You’d almost think I won the lottery or something, which I kind of did.
‘I’ve got the best job in showbusiness, and I am ecstatic about that.’
When he says ‘best job’ he means, ‘MAN ALIVE! There’s people willing to pay me $1million per episode for essentially turning up and playing myself! This is what it must be like to be Goldie Hawn or something!‘
Either way, Kutcher is probably a pleasant enough chap who doesn’t make women cry and fear for their lives while bleating on about how much coke he can toot while talking about women as if they’re goddesses, all the while demeaning them and yelling about WINNING and the like.
In short, while Kutcher is as annoying as a papercut on your eyelid, the cast and crew of Two And A Half Men will be thrilled that he’s not that Sheen dickhead.
Not yet at least…
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CatWhisperer says
I dont understand why they just dont get rid of the show at this point? How are they going to make this switch, slide him in as Charlie like the replacement Darren on Bewitched? Or call him a long lost cousin or something?
Just weird.
Dave says
Look for Ashton to kill the franchise–Hey Ash–miss the nerdy glasses. Ashton is a better looking version of Pauly Shore.
Dave says
Ashton Kutcher–A good looking version of Pauly Shore. Look for “Men” to make it one season with him.