Cheryl Cole must be practising her best disappointed / all out of love face in the mirror again, because on again, off again, on again, off again, on again (off again?) ex-husband Ashley Cole is facing fresh allegation that as a single man he has slept with a lady or two, you know, cause he likes women and their vaginas.
After their divorce last year Cheryl has been linked to bleached blonde, male dancer Derek Hough (it might be fair to say she has a type) while Ashley has been free to run around playing with his phone and shooting work experience boys with air rifles. How manly of him.
It must have been this display of pure brute macho-ism that attracted Chezza back to Ashley, she is, after all, from Newcastle; and naturally the papers have been rife with rumours of weddings and babies and other things to distract people from the fact that golden girl Cheryl has been sacked from not one, but two major television shows in the space of a week.
So it should come to the surprise of no one that Ashley seems to have been scoring on and off the pitch… with ladies… you know, women, with breasts and female reproductive organs, just the way he likes them; and not been faithful to his ex wife, the naughty ladies man that he is.
One of the said vagina owners, model Colette McBarron, is believed to have been trying desperately to avoid been ousted as one of Ashley’s conquests. You know how those buxom blonde models hate being linked to Premiership footballers, nightmare, eh?
According to the?Sun, the ?Irish babe? has decided to “wait and see what happens” while more ladies come forward saying Ashley has scored in their goal. Goal meaning vagina. ?Cos he likes those.
One source has said: “There are so many rumours flying around about Ashley – she can only keep her head down and avoid the publicity.”
Collette now joins the esteemed club of young women Ashley has ravaged, including?air hostess Kerry Meades and US model Jessyca Rayanne,?all of whom have said to they had flings with Ashley shortly before Mr & Mrs Cole are said to have got back together at her 28th birthday party earlier this month.
Oh Ashley, you crazy vagina loving ladies man, what will you get up to next? More vagina we assume. What a card.
This was an article by Ruairidh Pritchard who, if he survives the Chinese Water Torture that we’re currently subjecting him to, might be doing some more work for us.
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arzkazoo says
I hear that he also “likes” mobile phone technology