Do you enjoy watching pre-fame celebrities ramble on about endlessly about themselves in infuriatingly faux-deep ways?
You do? Well then, you’ll love the Angelina Jolie drug video. Filmed when she was just 23, the just-leaked Angelina Jolie drug video shows Angelina sitting in a drug den carping on about all kinds of permissive hippy nonsense for over seven painfully dull minutes while sitting next to a woman who’s blithely smoking some heroin.
You don’t? Then you should probably watch the Angelina Jolie drug video anyway, because it has a man in it who keeps mumbling the phrase ‘nipple clamps’ over and over again in the mistaken belief that he’s contributing to the conversation. Ah, nipple clamps. You can make everything funny.
Look at Angelina Jolie now and you see a serene humanitarian so concerned with the fate of the human race that she’s currently trying to adopt all of it so she can shelter us all from evil under the cover of her massive womb. But a few years ago it was a completely different story.
Before she decided to spend her life adopting children and living with Brad Pitt and only making depressing unpopular films, Angelina Jolie was quite the wild child. She was married to Billy Bob Thornton and carried a vial of his blood around with her, she was probably a bit of a lesbian and, by her own admission, she was quite often shitfaced on drugs.
And although that period of Angelina Jolie’s life is far behind her, it hasn’t stopped an old video of Angelina hanging out at a drug den among people openly smoking heroin from emerging.
Apparently filmed in New York’s Chelsea Hotel in 1999, the video shows Angelina Jolie sitting around rubbing her teeth a lot and yammering on about how much she likes rough sex and killing animals and being a crazy bohemian rich girl rebel who thinks she’s about 400 times more profound than she actually is because in reality if she was being any duller then people would literally start trying to beat themselves into a heavy concussion just to stop the incessant Chinese water torture that is her monotone voice bleating on about herself like she’s the centre of the titting universe.
It’s unknown whether this is a santised version of the rumoured video from the same period of time that shows Angelina Jolie actually taking heroin and then commenting on its quality, but if it is then at least all that’s been edited out so we don’t have to watch it for any longer than we absolutely have to. The Sun reports:
At times her eyelids are so heavy she can barely keep them open. She is also seen with dishevelled hair as she rubs her teeth… She says of taking part in sex games where someone is tied down or hurt: “It’s just a cool thing.” She tells how her mouse met a tragic fate after she dyed it blue – and how a hamster and lizards also died. Angelina continues: “My snake I had – I tried killing him.” She recalls how at 12 she was “a bad girl – beating up my friends.”
The Angelina Jolie drug video is a bittersweet affair – on one hand it’s a stark reminder of how dull people get on drugs, unless they just start earnestly repeating the phrase ‘nipple clamps’ again and again as if it’s proving an important point, and on the other it shows just how far Angelina Jolie has come.
And if Angelina Jolie can go from grubby self-obsessed drug lady to UN-sanctioned humanitarian in just a few short years, it means that one day we might see Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty bravely discussing a child’s right to education in the middle of an African minefield.
God, that’s a depressing thought. Quick, someone start talking about nipple clamps.
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Unknown says
You people should realize that all of us have past.
We are ALL not perfect, we have our mistakes and learn from our mistakes.
People change, which is what we should admire if one’s person change for the good.
Why dig the past of the person who has moved on and trying her best to make a difference to the world. If you are envious of her, do the same thing. Start doing good for mankind and God will also bless you with beauty, fame, power and wealth, just like what she is blessed now.
Envy & jealousy will just eat you up. Get a life and stick your nose to yourself.
If you do not like her, do not read anything about her. And stop trying to destroy people for everytime you do that, God will surely destroy you too.
Gilbert Wham says
If had to sit next to Angelina Jolie mumbling hippy nonsense, I’d be using smack to take the edge off too.