There are strange decisions, there are odd choices and there are some things that just make you go ‘whubluh?!’ before falling on the floor and vomiting through sheer insanity.

Then there are things that initially confuse, but soon reveal themselves to be not that stupid an idea after all – like making a TV show (and latterly a movie) about shallow, image-obsessed bints with too much money and free time on their hands. Some things in the world are just meant to be.

So why not combine the homoeroticism of a popular movie with the gay-friendly world of theatre? Or to put it another way: why not remake Brokeback Mountain as an opera? Genius. This thing writes itself, seriously. Having said that, there is still going to be a writer involved in the shape of 70-year-old Charles Wuorinen. The aged scribe said:

“Ever since encountering Annie Proulx’s extraordinary story I have wanted to make an opera on it, and it gives me great joy that Gerard Mortier and New York City Opera have given me the opportunity to do so.”

See – it all falls into place now, doesn’t it? By 2013 we can be sat at New York City Opera enjoying the wonder of two men discovering what love truly is, retreating to their mountainous hideaway to explore their new-found take on humanity, all while they bellow incomprehensible garbage at us with all the subtlety of a large, clumsy warthog wearing heavy boots. Walking on eggshells. In a library. We can safely say the operatic production of this is going to be ‘interesting’.

The original movie of Brokeback Mountain was released in 2005 to much critical acclaim and starred Jake “then secretly gay, now just a prettyboy actor” Gylglylglllenhall and Heath “then secretly gay, now dead” Ledger. It got some awards, did some things, made some people think a bit, made some people forgive Ang Lee for his version of The Incredible Hulk and… look: they’re making an operatic version of the film. This strikes hecklerspray as pretty bloody weird.

What are the sex scenes going to be like? We’ll go with intense, for one. Maybe this version will prove more popular in prison though.