There are many reasons why people would want to raid Amy Winehouse's flat – to go on what we guess would be a dead-cert drug bust, for example, or to simply sellotape Amy's mouth up and give her hair a damn good combing.
As it happens, police did raid Amy Winehouse's flat last night. However, don't start thinking that the raid was spectacular or anything, because it really wasn't. For a start neither Amy Winehouse or her husband Blake Fielder-Civil were in at the time of the raid – so officers didn't have to fend off any berserko razorblade attacks – plus it seems the raid had something to do with a bunch of people apparently perverting the course of justice, none of whom are Amy Winehouse. Still, it seems a waste to raid Amy Winehouse's flat and not arrest her for something – surely it's illegal to resemble the witch from Snow White that closely.
You know, it's a surprise to see that Amy Winehouse hasn't been arrested more in recent months thanks to all her hilarious shenanigans. Admittedly wailing her own songs in public like she's never actually heard them before isn't a criminal offence yet, but the blood-soaked prostitute-ignited razorblade fight that Amy Winehouse apparently had with her husband in the summer must have been a bit illegal, and we can't help thinking that Amy's almost-fatal overdose of heroin, cocaine, ketamine and ecstasy might have involved some sort of banned substances.
But, no. Even though she's flushing her personal life down the crapper as fast as she can, the only scrape that has ended up with Amy Winehouse getting arrested was when she was caught with a tiny amount of marijuana in Norway last month. Boring! Why don't the police raid Amy Winehouse's flat or something?
Wait a minute! That's just what they did last night, although the circumstances are so vague that for all we know police were looking for Amy's stash of illegally-imported robot unicorn ghosts. Actually, the raid on Amy Winehouse's flat followed the arrests of a bunch of men for suspicion of perverting the course of justice.
Now, since a police spokesman has confirmed that the arrests dealt with next week's trial of Amy Winehouse's husband and another man for grievous bodily harm, it's turned out that one of the men arrested for perverting the course of justice was Blake Fielder-Civil himself, who apparently beat up a barman until he needed metal plates in his face then offered him £200,000 to chance his story and leave the country.
But the good news is that, for once, this is an Amy Winehouse story that has nothing whatsoever to do with drugs. Also good news is the fact that – although it was her flat that got raided – Amy Winehouse has not been implicated in any of this. That's a good thing because hearing the phrases 'Amy Winehouse' and 'perverting the course of justice' together keeps making us think of Amy Winehouse in a gimpsuit.
Understandably that's been making us dry-heave an awful lot.