Americans Are Stupid Enough To Like Keira Knightley

Have you seen Domino? It’s just about the worst film ever made. That includes the ill-advised Garbage Pail Kids movie which some idiot wasted his money on making. And the reason that Domino is so bad lays entirely at the feet of the godawful Keira Knightley – an English accent designed to occupy a thong.

Of course, criticism and Keira are common bedfellows. Where Knightley goes, people muttering about how dismal she is, is never far away.

Apart from in glorious America, where they’re dim enough to like her. The USofA is just about the only country gullible enough to buy her schtick of being a not-ugly posh English girl of no-fixed-talent. And she’s noticed.

The dreadful, dreadful actress feels she gets more support as an actress in America than at home in the UK. That’s because the UK has a dreck-filter, not like in America where they’ll gobble up any ol’ gash. Want evidence? Americans will happily watch Two And A Half Men and The Big Bang Theory in their droves, whereas everything the UK produces is absolutely brilliant.

Apart from Knightley.

The Pirates Of The Caribbean jobsworth who, in her new film ‘A Dangerous Method’, realises that her acting abilities are so stunted, that she must take on a role that sees her getting spanked while tied semi-naked to a bed (you have to generate interest somehow, right?), admitted to GQ that she gets upset when people point out how gaspingly awful she is at her job.

Keira said:

“The Americans are generally a lot more supportive. They generally like the work a lot more than they do here. It is what it is, I suppose. It could just be that I’m not to a lot of people’s tastes. Which is fine.”

“Well it’s not, obviously. You want to be to everyone’s taste… But. I think it’s better to do your own thing rather than try to please everyone and just be this mushy thing in the middle.

“Sometimes it’s like water off a duck’s back, and sometimes it really hurts… and then you go away and cry for an hour or so, and then you pick yourself up again.”

There you go. We’ve all been making Keira Knightley cry. Something that no-one has ever been moved to do after watching one of her performances… unless you include the bitter tears of frustration as you watch a young talentless div sloping around a set for huge sums of undeserved money.

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Comments

  1. Todd says

    What on earth provoked this savage attack? Making people cry isn’t really funny but then neither is your blog.
    Your just linking THAT name for attention and views. Your comments are nonsense.
    Keira is an amazing actress, but shes vulnerable like the rest of us. No one likes a bully so pack it in.

  2. Audra says

    This is the worst waste of a blog I’ve ever read. Who cares. Obviously you are a little too fixated on her… No one else cares one way or another. Get over her.

  3. Joe Jones says

    Hahahaha awesome. You are so right, Keira Knightly is terrible. How the hell does she get so much work. Fuck off Keira

  4. eamonn says

    Any writer who makes generalizing comments about a country of 300 million people based on a hollywood B-movie is an idiot and a hack. This movie was universally panned over here and bombed at the box office. Do your home work before implying that discerning movie-goers over here give a shit about your untalented parochial small pond hacks and has-beens. Give us another Hopkins, Blanchett, or even Olivier and we might take more than a passing interest. The only notice Knightley gets over here is from rag-mags like yours.

  5. Alex says

    I am American and absolutely cannot tolerate Keira Knightley. Thank you for putting every one of us in the same box. I shall proceed to assume that all those in the UK have awful teeth.

  6. sm says

    How does she get so many acting gigs when she only has the one squinty pouty facial exprespression? She’s just a bag of bones with a pretentious accent. I really don’t get it.